Of love, turtles and new chances
by floatingbluebutterfly
Summary: They had just celebrated their second anniversary together when something - well, someone - happened in their lives. Rizzles and maybe a kid :)
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N:_**Hello guys. As I told you before, I have every intention of finishing this story. To do it so, I have to make some changes here. This was supposed to be a one shot story - The anniversary - but as I decided to go on, I need to add, remove or delete one thing or two, starting with the title and going through the chapters. Thank you so much for your understanding and I'm sorry, again, for the trouble.

* * *

_They were lying on Jane's mattress that was on the living room, because her stupid brother had prefered to chase a chick instead of helping her to move it to her bedroom. Well... Now she and Maura were there, sipping wine and chit chatting... about important things, about not so important ones... They had a blanket over them, it was a cold night. It was late, yet Jane could hear that humming coming from outside, denouncing that the city wasn't sleeping at all._

_Jane's mind was wandering... About the case, about how Riley had lied to them. Now Frankie had a broken heart and she a mattress on the floor. Stupid Frankie. She thought he would be smarter than that. She was so concentrated on her thoughts that she had lost Maura's last words._

_'Jane?'_

_'I'm sorry, what?'_

_'I've been thinking... About you said about your wedding dream...'_

_'So? I already told you, Maura. Yes for the hot dogs, and no, definitely NO for the wedding dress.' She joked._

_'It's not that.' Maura turned to her side to face Jane._

_'What is it, then?'_

_'It's not actually about the wedding.'_

_'What is it, then?' She asked again, impatient._

_'Well, I... Well. Don't be mad at me.'_

'Maura.'

_'See, I can't get a full painting of you as a married woman.'_

_'Wait, what? Why, Maura?' Now it was Jane's turn to roll over to a side._

_'Because. I've never seen you when you're in love. I mean, besides Casey.'_

_'I don't get it.'_

_'When you were seeing another guys, you didn't seem to really care about your relationship, or them, for that matter.'_

_Jane arched an eyebrow, letting Maura finished her analysis._

_'Now, with Casey. Well, you didn't seem like yourself when you were with him. You said you were in love but you didn't look like it. You wanted him and didn't want him at the same time.'_

_'It's very complex?' It was a half question._

_'Maybe. I just wanted to know... What you would look like when you had someone you were really in love. How you would react to this...'_

_'How it would be for me, you mean?'_

_'Yes.'_

_'Well... It's too late for that.' The ceiling was spinning. She was drunk, well, a little drunk. The thing was she didn't want to talk about it right now. Lying beside Maura was very disturbing. But the questioning look on the doctor's face hadn't gone away, so..._

_'Okay. You're right, when I was with him I didn't feel like myself. That was a big problem. I think... When I have the right person, I will feel like myself. I like my space, as you know... And, it'd be nice to have someone to talk about things at the end of the day, feeling comfortable in just being there, you know?'_

_Maura shook her head yes._

_'And... I'd like to talk about work, sometimes, because you know how it can be stressful. But not all the time, of course. And... I'd like to do things together... Like jogging, cooking or, I don't know...'_

_'It sounds like you, yes.'_

_Jane smiled at her._

_'What else?'_

_'Being in silence together without looking uncomfortable.'_

_'Mhm.'_

_'Well... If I were in love with someone...' She sighed. 'I'd do anything to make that said one happy.'_

_That said one. Not she, not he. Said one._

_'Like what?'_

_'I don't know, Maur...'_

_Maura laughed._

_'If you were in love with me, what would you do?' Maura was afraid she would get some kind of rejection or at least a smirk from her, but instead, Jane giggled and put a strand of hair behind Maura's ear, and now they were lying on one side, close enough to invade each other's personal space._

_'Maura, if we were in love, if you were my girl, then I'd give you the whole world if you asked me to.' Jane's eyes were darker than usual, and staring at it, Maura found a new universe there. So intense, vivid, strong... Yet, so smooth when Jane locked her eyes with hers. She blinked her eyes rapidly, afraid of losing herself into them and never find her way out again._

_'Hm... So... If I were in love with you, it would put me in a position where I could ask you anything?' She murmured, her eyes studying Jane's face, looking for some kind of signal. But deep inside, she already knew the truth._

_'Yeah.'_

_'Well... So... Can I have a kiss right now?' _Please, don't turn me down, don't walk away.

_Jane reflected for a moment. Had she heard it right? But as Maura had kept staring at her and the seconds had been passing by, she realized what game Maura was playing there. For a split of a second, Jane cursed herself for everytime she had held back that thoughts of how it would be to kiss Maura or have her in her arms, thinking that that was too inappropriate to think of since they were just friends and nothing more than that. For long Jane had blamed herself for having those kind of feelings for her. She had never said it to anyone, she couldn't. First of all, because was hard to admit to herself. Secondly, the chances of Maura being into her were nearly zero, and Jane had a list to go on. Her family, her friends, her work... It'd be too much complicated. But, as much as she denied it, she had thought of being with her, had some hope in it, otherwise she wouldn't try to convince herself the other way around. You can only deny something that already exists. So, when Maura had asked for a kiss, all that thoughts had flooded in her mind at once. Kiss her. Hold her. Protect her. Love her. Take care of her. Say you love her. _

_However, as always, Jane hesitated._

_Now, Maura was the one asking her a lot of 'what ifs'. Not thinking, but actually verbalizing it. What if I were in love with you? What if I kiss you? What if, what if, what if..._

_With a couple of 'what ifs' came along a few of 'thens'._

_What if she's just supposing, just wondering, not taking any of this seriously? Well, what if she's actually willing to know how it'd be, if she had a chance? Then, Jane thought, if what you're saying really means that you are in love with me, I deserve to hear it. Not in a game, not in a joke with words. Crystal clean._

_Time to let all your doubts go, Rizzoli._

_'Are you serious, Maura?'_

_'Yes.' She murmured, swallowing hard._

_'How did I not know this before?' Jane was sitting on the mattress now and Maura was feeling panic setting within her. She also sat._

_'I gave you all the hints.'_

_And I dismissed it.' Jane breathed. When she caught Maura's hurt look, she added: 'No. Not like that. I thought that it couldn't have been. I mean... You never said anything.'_

_'First I figured that my skills wasn't as good as I thought. You know how I can be when it comes to social abilities. Then you started dating Casey, and I thought you just... Well, I thought I had interpreted the facts incorrectly, that I had confused things. You know I had never had a bestfriend before, therefore I can hardly say when we are crossing the line of friendship or not... But then, you broke up with him, and it was a relief to me. It sounds selfish, I know, but I didn't understand, still do not, how your relationship with him worked. It came to me, at the time, that the main reason you broke up with him was that, well, it wasn't really a man that you were looking for settling.'_

_'I know you from a year now, Maura. You've never told me anything about dating women. You've always dated guys.'_

_'Jane, I...'_

_'I was completely oblivious to this.'_

_'Were you? Really, Jane?_

_'Okay, not that oblivious, but I thought I... Dammit, Maura.' She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated._

_'Jane, I'm sorry, I shouldn't put things this way, it's just that...'_

_'Maura,' Jane cupped her nape and looked at her seriously, 'shut up and just kiss me.'_

_Without wasting another second, she leaned closer and slowly, almost torturing, kissed Maura's lips._

_Maura cupped the brunette's nape and brought her closer, sliding her tongue into Jane's mouth. The kiss intensified and before the detective had noticed, she was over Maura, pressing her body against hers, tasting her mouth on hers, enjoying the warmth, the taste of good wine still lasting in it._

_When they broke the kiss, both were breathless so they didn't move nor say a word for a couple of minutes. Jane thought for a brief second that maybe, if she had understood it wrong, she had just screwed up their friendship. Friendship my ass. And she giggled out loud for that. Ridiculous, Rizzoli. The way Maura was looking at her right now, or running her hands up and down on her back and then entwined her fingers through her hair, or even the way her leg was brushing against hers... No way in hell that that might be a friendship. They were more than that, now it was clearer than ever._

_On that moment, Jane allowed herself to look at Maura, really look at her, as she always wanted. No bounds. No guilty. Just love and astonishment at how beautiful she was. The way her eyes sparkled, little dark green dots contrasting on that hazel iris, or the way the freckles spread over her chest, were getting less and less visible until they completely disappear before reaching her sweet face. And now she was closer, she could see that her hair color matched exactly with the freckles color. She loved it._

_She must have had a silly look on her face, because all of a sudden Maura started to giggle._

_'What?' She asked, her voice huskier than usual._

_'I thought you would turn me down.'_

_'Me? Turn you down? I mean, you, Maura?'_

_'Yes. Well...'_

_'Who, for Christ's sake, would do that?'_

_'Lots of people have done.'_

_'They're dumb. Lucky me.' She giggled._

_'Jane?'_

_'Yes, Maur?'_

_'I would never ask for the world if I have you.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Jane smiled at the memory. That night was the beginning of the best days of her life, and if someone had suggested something like this before that night she would've simply smirked full of sarcasm and turned her back. Bullshit, she would say. But then they kissed. Then they decided to tell everyone. They decided to move in together, officially together, as their friends said. From that day on, she had been waking up with Maura Isles lying beside her. Best way to wake up, really.

She looked at her side and saw through shadows Maura's still frame there. It must be early, she thought, but not to early for waking her up... in a special way. She supported her body with one elbow then moved herself slowly on Maura. The blond barely moved. Jane bent in and kissed her chin and her lips, when Maura showed no signal of recognition Jane pressed her knee against her sex and the smaller woman groaned softly. The brunette smiled satisfied. Just the thought of seeing Maura waking up all excited and moaning gave her goose bumps and made her center burn. Jane studied Maura's face then ran a hand beside her body. It was warm, and her hand captured all the warmth when she cupped Maura's naked breast. The skin burned against her hand and a nipple hardened rapidly. And there it was: the expression on Maura's face that Jane had been waiting for. It was mesmerizing. She was addicted to it. She did it again, this time nibbling her nipple and sucking it gently, she didn't want to wake her up yet. Maura moaned again and turned her head to Jane's side on the bed, her legs separated even more as if inviting Jane to go further. Well, she was about to...

Her skinny hand traveled down to Maura's belly until it reached her clit, then Jane administered little circles massaging the swollen flesh. Maura's hips started to move involuntarily and when Jane slid a finger inside her and felt the wetness there, she knew Maura was ready. Jane carefully got out the bed and walked over the nightstand, opened the first drawer and got the strap-on. It had always excited Maura, she knew it. The blond liked her fingers, her touches and her tongue, but she also liked being pressed into bed, body against body, moving fast, Jane thrusting her deep inside. Jane would give it to her whenever she asked her to. And today was a special occasion, today sex had to be like heaven.

Breathing heavily, Jane got in the bed again. She put herself between Maura's legs, and then... here she was. Putting the dildo inside her woman. Jane moaned at the view. Maura's hand traveled up to her breast and grabbed it, and when Jane pressed even further and Maura moaned again, she knew the blonde was dreaming dirty things.

Jane bent in and started to thrust slowly and the louder Maura moaned, the faster Jane moved in and out. Suddenly Maura gasped and Jane knew she was waking up. She slowed the movements and bent in again to kiss her.

'Good morning, beautiful.'

Maura tensed when reality set in, but she needed only a few seconds to realize what had been happening there: Jane had been fucking her since she was sleeping. The conclusion made every point of her body even more sensible: her neck, breast, belly, every inch of flesh was burning. She could feel Jane's hardened nipples brushing against her owns. Her walls that now was pressing the dildo so tightly. All these sensation almost made her see stars, lose herself in that infinity space of pleasure. She was flying but somehow anchored to Jane; she was light, but Jane pressing her body against hers made it all incoherent. She was here and there at the same time. It didn't make sense, but she didn't care anymore.

Jane had whispered into her ear and Maura did nothing but moan into hers.

'I'll take that as 'this is a fucking beautiful morning.'

Maura tried to laugh at the horrible joke, but it was replaced by a loud groan when Jane started to fuck her harder again. As their breast brushed against each other, Maura lost every trail of thought. All she was managed to do was wrap her legs around Jane's waist and follow the movements. Yes, she was about to fall apart, to lose herself into this ostensible paradise. She didn't mind. She was actually waiting for it and Jane would give her.

'Please', she managed to whisper into the detective's ear, 'harder'.

'Fuck, Maura!' Jane looked at her and Maura saw the lust, the ferocity in her eyes. She wasn't afraid, Jane would never hurt her. It excited her instead.

'Please, harder?' She almost begged. Her body wasn't hers anymore, it was Jane's and she really wanted that feeling to overwhelmed her. She wanted the lightness, she wanted to fall apart. Jane would put her together, later, because now all she needed was this.

Maura pressed her own body against Jane and the brunette groaned. 'Fuck', she said as she grabbed Maura's waist and held it tight. The gesture of possession plus the hard thrust took Maura to heaven again. She grabbed Jane's nape and after that the only thing she was aware of was the stars around her and her voice echoing through space calling for Jane.

Feeling Maura's trembling body under her own was something amazing. The more she felt it, the more she wanted to. Maura had screamed her name, had begged for more. Now she was trembling now and then. It was awesome how her body responded to Jane's and the feeling of power and possession it brought her. It was not like Maura was hers, that she belonged to her. No. Actually, Maura belonged with her and anything she wanted to do Maura had given her the power to her to do so. It was about trust and care, it was also about love. Maura gave her free pass along with responsibilities. And the possession... she couldn't deny it. It was actually more about selfishness than possession. Well, she was a little bit jealous, true. But what she didn't want anyone else to see, was this in front of her: Maura Isles trying to find her way back after coming so hard. This was always the second best part of it. It was beautiful watching her like this... She looked peaceful and pure. When Jane whispered to 'come back to me' or 'I've got you' Maura would lock her eyes with Jane's and smile at her, still trying to correct her erratic breathing.

Jane's fingers danced over Maura's lips, then the brunette decided to place a kiss there. Her thumbs was still caressing Maura's cheeks when she spoke:

'Jesus, Maur... You're so beautiful.'

The blonde smiled and her eyes twinkled. 'And so are you.' Her hands dropped from the detective's back to de strap-on. 'Let me?'

Jane unbuckled it but said, 'No. Not yet. I want you to have some sleep. Just wait a little more.'

'Why?' She protested.

'Jesus, woman. Can you do something for me without asking me why? Only this time?'

Maura rolled her eyes, a habit that she had learnt with Jane. 'I can.'

'Thank you.' She was about to get up when Maura pulled her back.

'What are we doing here?' Only now she noticed they were in their bedroom.

'Do I need to explain it to you? I mean...'

'We fell asleep in the living room.' She cut Jane off.

'Well, you mean... You fell asleep in there. I didn't', she gave Maura a peck, 'I brought you here.'

'Oh Jane, you didn't have to.' Maura put a strand of hair behind Jane's ear.

'Yes, I did. You looked awfully uncomfortable there. I couldn't come to this comfort knowing you were alone there... I mean, I could, but hey, aren't I a nice wife?'

Maura giggled. 'Yes, you are.' She kissed her lips.

'Now, I need to go.' She was trying to get up but then again, Maura pulled her back.

'Would you stay a little longer?'

'I'll stay until you fall asleep again. Sounds good?'

'Great'. Maura happily turned to her side and Jane to hers, now both facing each other.

Jane placed a kiss on Maura's forehead and she cuddled closer. Jane caressed Maura's cheek with her thumb, and before losing her chance she said:

'Hey, sweetheart?'

'Mmm?' Maura did not open her eyes.

'Happy anniversary'.

The blonde burried her face onto her neck and kissed it. 'For you too, my badass detective.'

Jane giggled. Maura was sweet in the morning. Well... She was always sweet, specially when they were alone. The brunette held the doctor closer to her, playing with strands of golden hair, knowing that this was the fastest way to bring her wife back to sleep.

It was impossible for Jane to see it, but Maura fall asleep with a big smile over her face.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a normal day. For everyone else, but Maura. She ran her thumb over the ring on her finger of her left hand. It was a habit she had been doing for three years now. The wedding ring it was like a reminder that the thing she most wanted in her life had come true: to be married with the one she loved. The woman she loved. At first, she thought that the right person would be someone of her dreams - except that she didn't even know what this person would be like, but she was sure she would know how to recognize the person once they met. Then she met Jane, and then she realized that the right person was, actually, the most questionable one.

A grumpy, sarcastic and impatient detective. And then she found herself deeply in love. And for someone who never guessed, Maura had a hunch: it would never work out. Jane was straight. Jane would never engage herself in this kind of relationship. For many nights Maura had fallen asleep believing that this was true. Sometimes she was lulled by the sound of her heavy breath, after having cried over Jane's narratives about her dates. But things started to get confused. The stares, the smiles, the gestures, the touches. The undeniable devotion coming from Jane to her. But mostly the stares, the clear communication and understanding they reached just by looking into each other eyes. Maura could read the detective by her dark eyes. Then she understood. Maura took the first step because she knew Jane would never do it herself, and before the fear of rejection she was pleasantly surprised by the reciprocity of feelings. So the blonde understood that a real person would always be better than that person of her dreams: someone that she could feel under her touch, someone who knew exactly how to get under her skin, someone who was able to make her laugh, even if the most ridiculous things. Someone that loved her for who she was, as real as herself.

Yes, she used to run her finger on that ring, because she had married Jane and it felt so perfect and right - she was so happy - that sometimes she needed to touch it to make sure it was true. She was living the life she wanted, with the person she wanted and it wasn't an illusion.

Maura walked into the Cafe with a big smile crossing her face. She was happy, especially that day. How could she not be? She ran her tongue between her lips as she thought of that morning with Jane. She was proud of having her, she was glad she was the one chosen by Jane, to be the one that knew the brunette like no one else would know.

She saw Angela serving a table. Cops pacing around with coffees in hands, talking to each other, teasing each other and laughing. They had done it all the time. Stanley was on the other side of the counter, his grumpy face announcing that it wouldn't be a good day to talk to him (just like the other days). The regularity of this all make her smile. It felt home. Well, her second home. She felt comfortable around those people now. She took a few steps closer to the cafe and a cop (Larry, she had learnt his name) nodded his head to her. She waved her hand in response. The man lift a finger asking her to wait a minute, after this he came back with a manila envelope in hands.

'That's addressed for you, Doctor. It came yesterday.'

'Oh, thank you Larry.' She reached out for the envelop and smiled to him, then he was gone.

As Maura stopped to read the paper, Angela stopped to observe her. She was glowing, and if Angela didn't know that they had stopped trying she would say that Maura was pregnant. In other hand, if a pregnancy wasn't the reason of that happiness, Angela could only think about another one: Jane. She had to admit that her daughter had been making a great job as a wife. All that attitude she reprimand her daughter for vanished when Jane was around Maura. Watching them dealing with their problems and disagreements was actually something beautiful to see; Jane was patient enough to listen, she had never said or done something on impulse and sometimes she just gave in. In sum, they solved their personal problems as the adults they were, but well, they were so cooperative and kind to each other that they couldn't have had any terrible situation of some kind. As far as Angela knew, the two of them had been living on a bed of flowers. The only time when things got a little complicated was on that week which that incident happened. Even then Jane was able to take care of themselves while undergoing it. But now it was only past. They were good again, and by the big smile on Maura's face, Angela would say that they were way ahead than just 'good'.

Angela smiled, she was so proud of her daughters.

'Hey, Maura!' She waved her hand to be noticed.

'Oh, good morning, Angela.'

'Good morning, sweetie, you're gorgeous today!'

'Thank you, Angela.'

'Are you looking for Jane? Wait, isn't today your day off?'

'Yes, indeed. I'm just stopping by.'

'You two can't actually be away from work, can you? Not even for a day!' Angela threw her hands up, Maura chuckled.

'No, I don't think so.'

'I think you two should take a week off, Maura. Why don't you treat yourselves for a trip?'

'I could use a trip, yes.'

'See? Talk to Jane! And here's something important, Maura,' she leaned in and lowered her voice, as if telling the blonde a secret, 'don't tell Jane that it was my idea. She'll just say no!'

'I promise I'll work on that.'

'Good! Now do what you need to do. I need to go back before Stanley infects my food!'

Maura giggled and said before leaving, 'See you later, Angela'.

The blonde walked towards the elevator looking forward to meeting with Jane and being updated about the case that had taken Jane out of their bed two days ago, and lost in her thoughts she wondered how much time it would take to solve this. Usually when they had this hard work to catch a unsub they spent nights awake, not talking about all the stress that it leaded. They felt pressured by Cavanaugh, the media. Sometimes Maura felt useless, even though she had done everything she could've done. She didn't take Angela's concern for granted. It wasn't the first time that the older woman had suggested them a trip. They had their good days at work, but they had the crappy ones - as Jane would call it - too, and lately Maura had been thinking about taking a few days, just she and Jane to unwind. It'll be good for them.

Distracted by her thoughts, she passed the first elevator - the one which would take her upstairs - and headed two the second one - the one that would take her to the morgue. Noticing her mistake she correct the direction towards the other elevator, but before reaching it she ran into something and stopped startled. When she looked down her heart jumped.

'Oh no!' She exclaimed already kneeling down. Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I did not see you.'

She stretched out her hand to the little girl. Sharp blue eyes met hers and they locked for a moment. Maura thought the girl would cry, after all she had pushed her onto the floor, even though it was unintentionally, but finally the girl gave in and took her hand. Maura helped her get up on her feet.

'Are you, okay?' She asked concerned, still on her knees.

'Sure. It was nothing.'

'Good.' Maura smiled and stood up. The girl kept looking at her. She didn't know why, she was just there, staring. Maybe an apology wasn't enough? She should offer something more. But what? No, maybe she's just waiting for you to leave, maybe you are on her way.

The girl was still as if waiting for a command. Maura made up her mind and tried...

'So... I'm Maura. What's your name?'

'Harriet. Nice to meet you.' She didn't smile, didn't stretch her hand. Maura wondered if the girl was being sarcastic. Well, she was too young to know sarcasm. Wasn't she?

'Nice to meet you too, Harriet. How old are you?'

'I'm 6.'

'Oh. You look younger. I mean, you have a short stature for your age.'

The girl frowned not understanding Maura's remark at all.

Great work, Maura. She heard Jane's voice inside her head.

'Are you with your parents?' Maura felt that everyone around was moving, but them. She felt stuck in that moment. She had to go upstairs, but that girl's questioning eyes wouldn't let her leave.

'My mother told me to wait here for her.'

'I see. Well... I'll tell you what: why don't you let me get a snack for you? As an apology.'

The girl denied it, however her blue eyes softened. 'Thanks, but my mother says I can't take anything from strangers.'

'Oh.' Maura found herself a little disappointed. 'She's totally right. But you know what? I work here, you can trust me.'

'You're a cop?'

'No, I am not. I'm a doctor.

The girl raised her eyebrows. 'For real?'

'Mhm.'

'You take care of people here?'

Maura thought for a second. 'Yes, you can put it in that way.'

'I did not know that cops had doctors working with them.'

'They do.'

'Are you a good doctor?'

'I do my best, always.'

'But are you good?'

'Yes.'

The girl bit the bottom lip, thinking.

'What about my snack?'

Maura giggled. 'Let's get it.'

They headed together back to the cafe. Maura studied the little girl: besides her blue eyes, she was dark-haired, soft curls fell down below her shoulders and she walked unhesitatingly, as if she was the one guiding Maura and not the contrary. She introduced Harriet to Angela, that took her little hands in hers and shook it happily.

'How can I help you sweetie?' The older woman asked.

Harriet spent a few minutes deciding what to get, and Maura waited patiently. After a long meditation the girl went with hot cocoa and a donuts.

'Aren't you getting anything for you, Maura?' Angela asked as she handed the cup and donut to the girl.

'Coffee.'

'One percent of milk?'

'That's it.'

Angela chuckled. 'Go sit down with her, I'll bring it to you.'

'Thank you, Angela.'

Maura chose a table and both took a seat, Harriet sat herself in front of Maura.

'Is anyone sick today?' The girl asked before sipping her hot cocoa.

'No, Harriet. Why are you asking me this?'

'Because. You said you take care of people here so...'

Maura thought for a moment and shook her head after understanding it. 'I see. Today is my day off, so I'm not working today.'

'But you are here.'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'I am here to see my... wife.' She hesitated before saying it, but she reminded that kids don't judge like adults do.

The girl show no reaction, no signs of estrangement. 'Does she work here?'

'Yes.'

'You are beautiful. Is she beautiful?'

'She is.'

'You are nice. Is she nice?'

'Yes, she is.'

'You're blonde. Is she blonde?'

'No, she isn't. She's dark-haired.'

'Is she a doctor too?'

'No, she's not.'

The girl had a list to go on, Maura was sure and she had no problem with responding it all. She was six years old and it was totally normal kids in that age to ask a lot of questions. She thought that if the girl wanted to know about her it was because she was having a good time, otherwise she would already have gone away. The next question jolted her.

'Do you have kids?'

I wish. 'No.'

The girl sipped her drink again. She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, apparently looking for something else to ask. If Maura gambled, she would bet that the same look crossed Jane's face when she was a kid speculating something.

'A dog?' Harriet's voice brought her back to the present.

'Mhm.'

'I had a bird once. He used to live locked up in a cage, it made me sad. So one day I jus let him go.'

'Really?!'

'Yes. Like the pokemons birds. All the birds should be free.'

'Poke-what?'

'Pokemon. You know, the cartoon.'

'No, I don't.'

'No way! Really interesting. You should see it!'

'What's that about?'

'You know, like our animals. A poney as instance! They're all ponies but then they develop for horses!'

Maura was about to say that that was not how the process of evolution worked out, but she was cut off by a familiar voice.

'Maur?'

She looked up meeting Jane's eyes. 'Oh, hi Jane!'

'Hey. I didn't know you were here.' Jane kissed her forehead. 'And who's that?'

'That's my new friend, Harriet.'

'Should I be worried?' She asked seriously as she arched an eyebrow to Maura.

The blonde giggled. 'No.'

'Hello, Harriet.' She stretched out her hand and took Harriet's little one in hers.

'Hi. Are you Maura's wife?

Jane looked at Maura and then at her again.

'I see you've been talking. Yes...'

'You're a cop.'

'I am.'

'Do you know pokemon?'

The question left her confused. Where did it came from?

'Well... I... Yes.'

'She knows.' The girl stated matter-of-factly looking at Maura.

'Yes, I believe it. Jane has a larger knowledge about pop culture than me.'

Jane joined them at the table predicting the conversation would last for a while.

'That's true.'

'What's your favorite one?'

'Pikachu...?'

Maura looked at Jane with questioning eyes.

'What? I have brothers younger than me.'

'I doubt that's how you've learned the names. I did see you watching cartoons last week, Jane.'

'Snap!' She giggled and then talked to the girl.

'What is your favorite one?'

'Squirtle.'

'The turtle?'

'Yeah!' She was really excited. 'I love him!'

'Really? Do you like turtles that much?'

'Yes! Asked my mom to get me one, she said she'll think about it since I set my bird free.'

'You what?'

'Another story.' The girl waved off the question.

'Ok. Harriet, do you know who has a real turtle?'

'Who?!' The girl leaned in, her eyes wide open, hands pressed on the table.

'Maura does.'

'You do?' She turned to Maura now.

'It's a tortoise.'

'No way! Is it big?'

'You bet. Biggest turtle I've ever seen.' Jane teased.

'Tortoise.' The girl correct her. Jane looked at Maura impressed.

'Jesus, Maura. It looks like you found someone just like you!'

'See, Jane? Even a child can understand the differences.'

'I can see it, too. I just like calling it turtle.' She defended herself. Her cellphone went off and she rapidly took it. 'It's Frost, I have to go back. Are you coming?'

'Yes, I was about to, but then I ran into her.'

'You don't mean literally, do you?'

'I do.'

'Oh God, Maura!' Jane started to laugh.

'It was not funny, Jane. I thought I had hurt her.'

Harriet just watched the back and forth. Then Jane stoop up and offered the hand to her again.

'We have to go now, Harriet. It was really nice to meet you.'

'Thanks! You're nice, Jane.'

'Thanks, baby girl.'

'Hey Maura, do you think I could visit you sometime? You know, to see your turtle. Tortoise, your tortoise.'

'Totally! Maura's turtle is awesome. Maybe you can even ride him!'

'That'd be great!'

'That would be very inappropriate.' Maura corrected. 'Still, you can visit us.'

'Thank you!'

Maura saw the girl smile, really smile, for the first time. 'You're welcome.'

'See you around, Harriet.'

Maura waved good bye to the girl and headed to the elevator with Jane. Once in there, once the doors had closed and they were alone again, Maura rested her back against Jane's chest. The brunette's arms wrapped around her waist as they had been doing for a while now. Jane rested her chin on Maura's shoulder, after kissing her neck. There was silent surrounding them, and when there was silent, there was Maura thinking too hard of something. Jane had her guess.

'So... You bumped into that girl.'

'Mhm.'

'She's really smart. I like her.'

'Isn't she?'

Jane could say that Maura was smiling. 'Yeah, just like you. Even more, I'd say. She does know pokemon.' She said teasingly.

Maura looked at her and chuckling shook her head no. 'I'm the only person who can put up with you, Jane.'

'That's why I got married with you and not with Stanley.'

Maura giggled but then went silent again.

'Are you thinking about that again?' Jane asked in a husky voice.

Maura sighed. They hadn't been talking about it for months. They were either too busy or too happy or too surrounded by people to discuss this. Sometimes Maura thought that this was on purpose, that Jane didn't want to talk about it, that it somehow bothered her at some point that the only way of getting rid of it was ignoring it and putting them into all these situations as a way of escape. But in the back of her mind she knew that Jane was waiting for her to start the talk. She was being prudent as Maura had given her all the signs to do so, and now Maura couldn't just accuse her like that. She was mindful and she was definitely prepared to listen to her. But Maura wasn't sure if she was prepared to talk yet.

Sighing, she breathed a distant 'no'.

Maura was about to say something more, but then the elevator dingged opening the doors to a new conversation, finishing up this one.


	4. Chapter 4

'Are you sure, Maura?'

'Well, to be sure I have to run some tests.'

Jane rolled her eyes. 'You know what I mean.'

'So, yes, but I'll ask Susie to confirm it, though.'

Jane sighed and thoughtfully studied the picture again.

'If we have a match on this...'

'There will be a lot of possibilities.' Frost completed.

'Better than nothing, right?' Korsak added.

'Sure.'

'Yes! We finally have something to work on. How long do you think this it'll take, Maur?'

'A day? I suppose Susie can bring the results in by tomorrow. First thing in the morning, Jane.'

'Fantastic!' Jane place her hand on the small of Maura's back.

'I will tell her to...' Maura was about to leave, but Frost stopped her.

'No, doc. Let me.' Frost said. 'It's your day off and you've been working here for like an hour now, c'mon. Take Jane downstairs, that'd be a great favor, really.'

'Yeah, we can't stand her anymore. It seems that she woke up on the wrong foot today.' Korsak chuckled.

'Shut up, Korsak. Both of you, or your asses will accidentally find my foot.'

'See what I mean?' Frost held up his hands in the air as if to prove his point.

Maura giggled. The truth is that Jane was just okay today, but Korsak and Frost were really supportive. Maura remembered the day they had told them.

Jane had invited them to dinner at Maura's place. It was a usual thing between them, so they didn't suspect of anything. They ate, talked, drank and right after dinner Maura glanced at Jane and took a deep breath. Jane stoop up followed by Maura, everyone stopped talking and stared at them. Maura was nervous, Jane was ready for the jokes. Maura nodded her head to her and then she started to talk.

'Well, the reason Maura, I mean... _We_ asked you to come here is that... We have something to tell you.'

A pause.

Korsak arched his eyebrows.

'So... are you going to tell us or what?'

'Yes, sure. As I was saying... We wanted you to know that...' She looked at Maura._ Help me._

'Jane and I decided that...' She moved her hands in the air, trying to find the words.

'Oh, screw it. Maura and I are together.'

Everyone was looking at them. Nobody reacted. Jane was getting really nervous. Maybe she hadn't been clear enough. She clasped Maura's hand in hers and lifted it up.

'We mean, together _together_.'

All of sudden everyone started to laugh.

'What's so funny about this?' She asked in self defense.

'We already knew it, Jane. I mean... You didn't have to make an announcement.' Frankie shrugged.

'Yeah, like, why state the obvious?' Korsak teased.

'Jerks. What they mean is that we are happy for you. It was just in time, Maura.' Frost smiled and lifted his beer at them.

'Yeah, Jane needed someone to put her on the right track.'

'Totally, and Frankie, you owe me fifty bux.'

'Shit.' Frankie opened his wallet and passed the money to Frost.

'Were you betting on us?' Jane asked pointing her finger back and forth to them.

'Not just us, the whole division.'

'I think we should keep the money, what do you think, Jane?' Maura arched her eyebrows to them, a mischievous smile crossing her features.

'What? No way!'. Frost protested, but Jane's hand was already stretched.

'Thank you, gentlemen.' She folded the fifty-dollar bill and put into her pocket.

At the end of the night, Korsak was putting back his jacket and came close to Maura, patting her shoulder he said (Maura would never forget his words): I'm so glad you made it, Doctor. You two are perfect for each other. I mean it. I was really starting to doubt of Jane's abilities as a detective, but luckily she have proved she's still good.' He smiled at Maura. 'I can see how much you love each other. Call me romantic if you want to.'

After that night everyone at the headquarters knew they were together. They respected them and even the assholes - Jane hated them - showed some kind of respect. Of course there were the jokes, but a death glance from Jane was enough to shut up their mouths. Maura wasn't The Queen of the Dead anymore, because murmurs like these were practically extinct - if the ones who told them had some life expectancy. Maura was known like 'Jane's girlfriend' and no one wanted to mess with her. Really.

Maura smiled at the memories and then turned back to Jane. 'Let's go?'

The brunette stoop up and walked towards the doctor, and as Jane gave her back to them, Frost mouthed 'thank you' for Maura. She giggled and Jane looked over her shoulder to cast a death stare at Frost. She wasn't pissed at all, she liked this kind of teasing between them. It was their thing and she knew that jokes were, sometimes, the best things to make through the day.

They took the elevator back to the first floor. When the doors closed, Jane leaned in and kissed Maura's lips.

'I really like having you here. But I think you should be home resting.'

'Jane, I'm perfectly fine.'

'I know you are, but really Maura, you've been working so much lately because of this stupid case.'

'It's been three days, Jane. This is the third one and I'm not working.'

'You're supposedly not working. You are here. And, ok, it's not just this one. Remember last week? You've been up until late for the whole week, Maura. I don't want you to get overworked.'

'I'm not understanding why you are so worried.'

'Because you have a routine Maura. If you're not sleeping right, something's wrong.'

Right to the point, Rizzoli. Maura arched her eyebrows, but looked to her feet.

'What's happening, sweetie?'

The doors suddenly opened. Jane held the Doctor's hand in hers before leaving the elevator. They stepped outside but Jane didn't walk any farther.

'Maura? Is there something bothering you?'

'Yes, there is.' She breathed out.

'What is it?'

'I've been thinking that we... could take a short vacation.'

'You've been talking to my mom.' Jane started to walk again followed by Maura.

'No, I haven't!' She defended herself.

'Maura... _hives_.'

The blonde giggled. 'You've got me.'

By this time they had already reached the cafe. Jane wasn't satisfied at all with Maura's response, but knowing that the HQ wasn't the right place, she would let it go for now and try to make her talk at home. She knew for sure that Maura was restless, almost distracted and wanted to know why. Maura wasn't like this, usually she had no problem with sharing her feelings, but lately she was just distant.

'Jane, Maura!' Her mother's voice broke her trance.

'Yeah, Ma. What's up?'

'You know that girl?' She pointed out to the little girl's frame.

Harriet.

'Kinda. We talked earlier today. Why?'

'Jane, she told me her mother asked her to wait here, but look... Something's just not right. She's here over two hours.'

'Does anyone know who she is?' Maura asked, her voice concerned.

'No one. When I asked some cops they thought she was here with Jane and you, you know, because you were talking to her.'

'That's not right. I guess she came alone, then?' Jane murmured looking to the girl, engines on her mind already spinning.

'It looks so.'

'We'll talk to her, Ma. Thank you.'

* * *

'Hey Harriet. You still here, uh?'

The girl was all smiles when she saw Jane and Maura walking towards her. She was sitting on a table, drinking hot cocoa again.

'Yeap.' She swung her legs.

'Uh... Harriet, did you come here by yourself?' Jane took a seat by her side.

'Yes!'

'But you told me your mother said you should wait here for her.' Maura sat in front of her and Jane.

'Mhm.' Apparently she was enjoying her time there so much that she wasn't bothered by the long wait.

'Do you know where she is?'

'Sure, she's home. She said I needed to come here and wait for her, that it'd take her a few minutes to meet me here.' She said naturally.

'Where's your home, sweetie?'

'Jane?' Maura intervened.

Jane cast a glance at her. She knew that look: _something's not right_. The girl did not answer because she had been distracted by Maura's voice, so Jane tried again:

'Ah, Harriet, your home?'

'Three blocks away.'

'What's the address?'

'I don't know. I'm new in town.'

In town... Jane felt angry growing inside her. What kind of mother let a six-year-old child walking alone on Boston's streets?

Jane breathed. 'You mean that you just moved in?'

'Mhm.'

'Can you show us where you live?'

'Mhm.'

'Maura get your car. We're going to take a ride.'

Jane took the little girl's hand in hers, and was outside the building before she notice it. Maybe this was just a huge misunderstood, maybe something had gone terribly wrong here. They walked up to Maura's car on the street, Jane put the girl inside it and put her seatbelt on, then she got inside and Maura let the girl show her the way.

It was a short travel, it took less than five minutes from the moment they left the HQ to the moment Maura turned off the engine.

'Okay, so that's your building?' Jane looked behind to see the girl.

'Yes!'

'What's the apartment number?'

'It's... 409?'

'The fourth floor?'

'Yes.'

'Maura, stay with her. I'll check it out.' Jane got out the car and closed the door.

'Jane...'

'No. Just stay, ok?' She bent in to talk to her. Her hands on the driver's door supporting her weight. 'If you see something wrong... You know the drill.'

Maura shook her head yes. She hadn't agreed with this at all, but it was useless to argue with Jane, especially if the point of de discussion was about her work.

'Give me five minutes.' And she left after that.

* * *

The detective got into the building easily, a badge could make miracles. She took the elevator, pressed number four and waited impatiently to get to the floor. She was getting nervous. Maybe she should have called Frost. She knew she wasn't supposed to be alone, but technically she had Maura. Technically. There was no way in hell she would bring Maura and a kid with her. What? No, stop it, Rizzoli. You're overreacting. Maybe there's nothing in there.

The doors opened and she stepped out. Number 409. Let's see...

She walked past three doors, looking and listening carefully. Nothing irregular. Then she reached the next door. The number 409 encrusted in the door was almost yelling at her. It was closed. She got close to it and tried the knob. It was unlocked. She pushed the door, opening slowly, already pointing the gun inside. No noises.

One step into the apartment. A lot of unpacked box. It made sense, Harriet said that she had just moved in. Jane saw a picture of the little girl and a woman who she guessed was her mother.

A door slammed closed. Jane jumped at the sound. It's just the wind, idiot.

The wind... It brought her a smell that she knew well, but hated it. Blood.

She hurried inside the place, gun in steady hands now. She kicked the first door. A kid's bedroom. Harriet's bedroom, she realized. Nothing wrong there. Next door. A bathroom. Clean. Next door.

Dammit.

She didn't have to see it to actually know that there was a body there. The strong smell of blood denounced that someone got hurt badly. She took a look at the body, tried to find a pulse but it was too late. She swallow the lump in her throat and called Maura.

* * *

Maura was too quiet, and so was Harriet. She knew it could be nothing serious, but she hated it when Jane was alone. It was dangerous and although she had no reason to believe that Jane had walked into trouble, she couldn't stop herself of being worried. She sighed heavily, drumming her fingers onto the wheel. It had passed almost five minutes. Jane wasn't being literal, but...

'Maura, do you think my mother forgot me there?' Harriet asked in a low voice. It was the first time she showed concerned towards her mom.

'I don't think so, Harriet. I'm sure Jane will find her.'

Silence again. Maybe the girl was feeling Maura's tension. The blonde looked over her shoulder and opened her mouth to say something, but was startled by her cellphone.

She picked it up immediately.

'Jane?'

'Maura, drive back to the headquarters. I'm calling the cops, we've got a body here.'

'Is it...?'

_Don't tell her what this is, Maura can't lie_. 'No. It's not. Don't startle the girl ok?'

'Yes.'

'And don't come back here. Stay with her. Send Susie instead, ok?'

'Okay.' She breathed heavily. 'Jane, are you ok?' It was a whisper.

Jane knew what she wanted to know. 'Yes, Maur. I'm ok. There's no one here. Only me, alright?'

'Okay.' She breathed, relieved.

'Maura, one more thing. When you get there I need you to ask Harriet what happened from moments before she left the house to when she got to the HQ, ask Frost to be with you, got it?'

'Yes.'

'Ok, sweetheart. Talk to you later.'

'Bye.'

'We're coming back.' Maura muttered.

'What about my mom?'

'We're still looking for her, don't worry.' Maura tried to swallow the lump in her throat. The day had started too good, and now apparently it was heading for trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

'Harriet,' Jane sat down next to her, now back to the HQ, 'can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'Is that your mom?' She showed her a picture. Jane was sure, but she had to ask anyway.

'That's her!'

'She's beautiful, just like you.' Jane gave her a smile that only Maura could identify as a sad one.

'Thanks!'

'Now, look, Frost is calling you again. Why don't you teach him something good? Like pokemons, I bet he'll like to know everything you do.'

'Great! I'll tell him everything, Jane!' She jumped out of the chair and ran excitedly towards Frost. Jane nodded her head to him.

'You lied to me.' It was the first thing Maura told her when Harriet was out of view.

'Maura, I had to. If the girl had asked you something... You can't lie. And I need her to talk before she starts to cry.' Jane shrugged her shoulders as though trying to apologize.

'Oh, God...' The doctor shook her head, already feeling terrible for what that little girl was going to face.

'I'm sorry. It doesn't sound kind, but Maura...'

'I understand, Jane.'

'I know you do, thank you.'

Maura sighed and pressed her lips in a thin line before asking.

'What happened?'

'One single shot, straight into the heart.'

'Cold... It doesn't look something personal, does it?'

'No.'

'She deserves to know, Jane.' She leaned her head suggestively at the direction Harriet had just ran in.

'She does... Did you talk to her?'

'Yes. She told that her mother asked her to come here, because it was a safe place, and she would meet her here. She took the stairs, got out of the building, crossed the streets. No big deal. She's smart, you know.'

'Yeah. Wait... Did she know that here was a police station?'

'Apparently. Her mother taught her about important points near her house: the headquarters, Dirty Robber, that ice-cream parlor at the block behind this one, and that library across her street.'

'Why do you think she taught her that?'

'Directions? She said she was new here. I guess that since she likes to walk alone her mother gave her directions...'

'In case that she got lost.'

'Yes.'

'Yeah, it might be it.' 'Susie asked them to bring the body. I asked her to do the autopsy. It's your day off, don't protest. She's capable, Maura.'

'I know she is. I just... want to help.'

Jane smile at her. She always wanted to, she put work in first place just like Jane, but lately she had been working so hard that the detective didn't want to push her even further.

'Ok, look... First I need to tell her, ok?'

'No, let me. I spent the whole day with her, I think she's going to need someone who she trusts.'

'You... you sure?' Jane frowned.

'I am.' Maura nodded and held her gaze.

'It's not easy, Maura. She's gonna cry.' Jane was trying to warn her, working with kids was something that had always disturbed her emotional.

'I know.'

She didn't, because as far as Jane knew, Maura had never worked with kids before.

* * *

They were both standing by the morgue door now. Maura had Harriet's hands in hers, and she felt the cold emanating from inside the room. That place had never seemed colder before. The doctor and the girl were walking in silence along the hallway, then Maura stopped at the door for a moment to clean her mind and concentrate. She only realized that a considerable amount of seconds had passed when blue eyes blinked to her.

'You ok, Maura?' The girl asked almost in a whisper.

'I... Yes.' Not exactly. She was hesitating. She had passed the text over and over again, and in her mind it seemed to be flawless. Well, now that she was a step away from telling it, she was feeling that it was lacking in something. Maybe it should be different, maybe these shouldn't be the lines to be told to a kid. Maura looked through the glass and saw Harriet's mother lying on the table. Susie had covered her body and put a pillow under her head, just like she had asked. Now it looked like the dead woman was just sleeping.

I need to do this. She cleaned her throat and looked down to the short girl.

'Harriet? I need to tell you something.'

'It's about my mom.' It was a half question. 'You found her?'

'Yes. We did.'

'Where's she?' Her eyes twinkled. Maura felt something grabbing her heart and smashing it. She was about to see that glow fade away.

'She's here, inside this room.'

'So I wanna see her!'

'You are going to. But look... Something happened, Harriet.' Maura crouched down to her level.

'What?' She asked with widened eyes.

Tell her. Do it. Don't mask it. She'll reach a conclusion anyway and it'll be as painful as it can be.

'She...' Maura hesitated again and bit her lip. She took a deep breath and put a strand of hair behind her ear.

'Maura?'

'Your mom is a hero, Harriet.' According to Jane's theory her mother had sent to the police station to protect her, it was the more plausible explanation so far. 'Do you know that?'

'Yeah, she's my hero. Can I see her now?'

Maura ignored her question. She was getting anxious. 'Unfortunately, sweetie... She was found dead.' She said it almost in a whisper. To her surprise the girl only blinked at her.

'Is she there? Can I see her now?'

'Well, I ... ' That was definitely not the reaction she was waiting for. She frowned.

'Yes, you can.'

Maura held her hand and opened the door. The girl was too short to see her mother on her own feet, so Maura had to lift her up. Once she did it, thin legs wrapped around her waist. She walked closer to the table and the girl leaned over to see her mom.

She frowned at first. Her mother was lying on a table, a very weird place to take a nap. After a second view she noticed that her mom was pale (a word that she had listened to only two or three times). She was confused. She would ask her mother to explain her why, her mom had always explained things to her. How to cross the street, how to brush her teeth, how to tie the shoelace (she was still working on it). She would explain it too, wouldn't she?

'Mommy?' She tried. 'Mommy!' She said once more when the woman did not answer. Then she reached out and touched her face. No movements again. Her mother was there, but at the same time she wasn't. It was confusing and she didn't understand why Maura had told her that her mother was a hero if she was dead. She didn't understand what the word 'dead' meant.

'What happened to her? Is she frozen?'

For the first time Maura lied and didn't feel any kind of guilty or uneasiness about it.

'No, sweetie, she's not frozen. She got suddenly sick, Harriet. It happens very often.'

'Did you tried to save her? You're a doctor, did you try it? Can't you do anything, Maura?'

The girl locked her eyes with Maura's and the blonde saw conflict there. She was begging for something more palpable, for acquaintance and also, she was in denial. She wanted Maura to tell her that her mother was going to be fine, but she knew better. Reality will break our souls some time. We've learned it since we were kids: when you fall for the first time and hurt your knees; when that ice-cream-cone turns out to be on the ground minutes later you got it; when your first pet dies; when the camping plans happens to be just plans because it's raining on the weekend. When you got burned by the sun. Life is cruel on people. It has always been. And it was so terrible and painful to be the one who has to show it to a child that for a second Maura almost gave up. She thought about calling Jane and asking her to explain it, to tell that little girl the horrible thing about life: someday everyone will die; someday you will lose someone you love. And she wasn't the one who wanted to tell her this. She didn't want to make her cry, to break her heart. But she had volunteered herself, hadn't she? She had said the she could handle it. She took the girl in her arms and showed her this. And now she was the one that by duty would finish it.

'Harriet...' Her voice trembled. The little girl stared attentively at her. Maura breathed in to steady her voice and continued. 'Remember you told me early today that you had a bird?'

'Mhm.'

'Do you understand that since you let him go, you'll never see it again?'

'Yes.'

She understood what loss meant, it was a start.

'I'm so sorry to tell you that, Harriet, but...' Maura gathered all the courage she needed to say the next words, but her voice failed anyway, 'You'll never see her again, baby girl.'

'But I don't want her to go! I don't!' She protested. 'Can I fix it, Maura? Can you help me?' She put her hands on Maura's shoulder, begging.

Maura was trembling so much that she thought she would collapse onto the ground. She wasn't feeling her legs and Harriet's on her lap wasn't helping the situation. Not that the girl was heavy, no. She was actually quite light, but the thing is that if Maura had thought that saying to the little girl what she had just said would be the hardest thing that afternoon, she was completely mistaken. Say some words might be difficult, but dealing with the consequences was the hardest part.

'Sweetie, you did nothing wrong. No one chose this kind of thing. See? It just happens. And I'm afraid there's nothing else to be done.'

Harriet's lips trembled and Maura knew she was about to cry. She swallowed hard.

'I'm not gonna see her again?'

'No. Not like you used to. I brought you here to say goodbye.'

And then she started to cry. 'She told me to wait here, Maura! Why didn't she come to get me?'

'Baby, I'm so sorry.'

'She told me... a-and she didn't... M-Maura?' She looked at the blonde helplessly, her words were muffled by the crying. 'S-she left me... I-I don't want her to go.'

'I know, I know. Come here, sweetie.' Maura wrapped her arm around Harriet, holding her tightly against her. The gesture seemed to break any control that the girl had on herself and she started to cry louder and move her arms on Maura's back, as though she was drowning in sadness and Maura was somehow the comfort she needed and was trying so desperately to have it. Hot tears soaked up Maura's neck and she had to breathe in and out slowly to keep her own emotions at bay.

Maura told her that the pain would go away and she would be fine. She said everything she assumed that would calm her down, but the girl had been crying for long now. She didn't know how to deal with such pain but crying her heart out. Children don't have all the tools and skills to deal with grief like adults do. Adults hide emotions and pretend behaviors. Children are more honest when it comes to feelings, they are more likely to tell if they like you or not, to smile when they are happy and cry when they are sad. It was quite simple read them because they show every emotion. It was the first time she had told a child that her relative was dead. It wasn't a easy thing to say to adults either, but if she had to chose, she would chose them.

After an hour, when the girl finally calm down, Maura tried to move her away, but the girl tightened her arms around her neck again.

'No.' She breathed.

'Harriet...' She tried again. After spending so much time standing with the girl in her arms, her back was killing her.

'N-no!' Now Harriet's legs was wrapping around her waist.

'Don't you wanna say goodbye?' She asked in a low voice. She had took the girl there because she believed it would be better for her to understand the loss, even though she knew the girl would deny it at first. It was cruel, but Maura couldn't do anything else but help her get through it. She would have to accept it first, the most painful stage of grief, to get through the other ones. She was willing to help her as much as she could.

The girl sighed heavily, still crying.

'Ok, baby. I'll take you with me to my office, okay?'

She shook her head yes.

'Can you look at me?' She asked as she headed to the office.

No response. Only little fingers dancing through her hair.

'You know... this morning when you told me you like turtles? Something crossed my mind.'

She was waiting for a response but, again, none came. She opened the door, walked over to the sofa and before sitting themselves there she took off the high heels. God, her back was hurting so much. It was a relief when she finally rested it against the back of the couch.

'Do you know that there's a famous turtle in Australia? Well, it's a tortoise, actually.'

The girl shifted herself. Her forehead was close to Maura's jaw line, but she refused to look up, and Maura wouldn't invade her space.

'Guess her name.'

'Hm...'

Maura smiled, she was bringing the girl back to her. She grabbed her cellphone and typed a message for Jane: _Told her. Her heart is broken._

'Dunno.' The girl sniffled.

'I'm sure you can think about something.'

The text came back within seconds. _R u ok? Told u it's not easy._

'Bob?'

'No. It's a female name.' Maura replied the text: _I'm ok. She hugged me and won't let go. I don't know what to do_.

'Hm... Elizabeth?'

'No. It's a beautiful name, but no.'

Jane's text came again: _Me neither. I'm sure u can handle it._

Maura typed:_ I hope so. Did you find anything yet?_

'Hm...' She sighed. 'I'm tired.'

'Oh, sweetie...' She rubbed Harriet's back.

'Maura?' The girl called, her voice was just a whisper lost in a swamp of sadness.

'Yes?

'Are you going away, too?' She looked up and met Maura's eyes. Her eyes were swollen and her face was a mess, but Maura didn't care.

The blonde felt something warm inside her. The question could only mean that the girl liked her enough to fear her absence. She kindly cupped Harriet's face and told her, 'No. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here.' She wrapped her arms around the girl again, reassuring it. The girl rested her head on Maura's collarbone, and only now the blonde noticed how cold she was. They had spent a long time in the morgue, and that place was the coldest one in the building for a reason. Worried, she ran her hands along Harriet's arms, trying to warm her up. She was wearing a purple dress and a white Converse, Maura had no idea why, considering that the weather outside wasn't the hottest one either. Autumn was coming and this year the cold was promising to be more intense than last year.

'Harriet, you're cold. Would you let me put my coat around you?' Maura held her little waist as the girl pulled away.

'Mhm.'

'Good. But I need you to let go of me. - Just for a moment.' She added when the girl hesitated.

'Ok.'

Maura helped the girl to get out of her lap, then standing she took off her coat, put it around Harriet's body and helped her with the sleeves.

'There you go. It's a little big, but you can keep it for now.'

'It's warm.'

'Yes, it is.' Maura sighed and sat herself again. Her body was sore. Would it be because of such drain of energy?

Harriet watched as Maura sat, then she put her hands - now covered by the sleeves - on Maura's knees. It was cute how little se looked swallowed by the coat, and Maura had to resist, but not for too long, the urgency to take her in her arms again and take care of her.

'Maura?'

'Yes?'

'What's the turtle's name?'

Maura smiled. The girl took it as an invitation to get onto her lap again and made her way up there.

'I told you, it's a female name. I'll give you this tip: starts with H.'

'The same letter as my name!' She exclaimed.

'Indeed.' Maura arched her eyebrows encouraging her to continue.

Suddenly the girl's mouth dropped open in realization. 'It's Harriet, isn't it?'

'Yes, it is.' Maura giggled because the expression on her face was priceless.

'I was named after a turtle!'

Maura didn't have the heart to say that this would be unlikely because the girl was smiling again.

'It's on the internet, I can show you later if you want to.'

'I do!'

Maura smiled at her and the girl held her gaze for a moment. Maura could read her soul, and she was sure Harriet could read hers too. It's like that moment when you find someone who you are absolutely sure you met in other life. Maura didn't believe in other life, of course, but the feeling was there. The intensity of that gaze connecting them somehow, as if she her eyes were mirrors that Maura could cross, take a look inside that universe and then come back again. No damages made, only acknowledgments. But then, that intensity was slowly replaced by utter desolation again.

'You think we can fix it?'

Maura rubbed her back, back and forth. 'I think we can work on things from now on.'

She pouted and rested her forehead against Maura chest. Maura thought she would start to cry again, but she stayed still for a couple of minutes.

'Why don't you take a nap, sweetie? You look so tired.'

'Don't leave me?'

'No.'

'Tell me about the turtle?' The girl murmured next to her ear.

'Tortoise.' Maura corrected her.

'Yeah, tell me?' She asked as she ran her finger through Maura's hair, slowly and slowly.

'Well, she's 175 years old. Can you believe it? She lives in Australia now, but she was collected by Charles Darwin. Do you know him?'

'No.'

'I thought so... But someday you will. Well... The tortoise lives at the Australia zoo, I've never visited her before, I've just read, but it seems that she likes the attention of humans, and likes to be patted on her scutes.'

Maura shifted herself and the girl sighed. If she wasn't sleeping, she was about to. Anyway, Maura continued to talk.

'She's said to be very good-nature, you see? But she's lazy, she spends the majority time sleeping. What else? Oh, her favourite food is hibiscus. Do you know what kind of plant is this?

The girl didn't respond. Maura waited a few minutes more to be sure she had fallen asleep. Carefully, Maura took off her Converse, putting it aside, knowing that sleeping without shoes would be more comfortable. Then she manage to change the girl's position, leaving her side resting against her own body. Maura caressed her cheek and put a strand of hair beside her ear. She looked so peaceful sleeping, as though nothing bad could ever happen to her.

After placing a kiss on her forehead, Maura grabbed her cellphone again and read Jane's latest message.

_No, but I've already called social worker._

A considerable number of months had passed since the last time Maura had felt sick, but after reading Jane's text for the second time, her stomach twisted in such bad way that she was sure she was going to throw up.

* * *

**A/N: ****Ok, here are some things you might want to know. Harriet, the tortoise, is real. Sadly she is not alive anymore, but here in my story she's quite well, because really, how much disappointment a child can suffer in one day?**

**When I chose Harriet to be my girl's name, I had no idea. When I decided that she would have some kind of passion for turtle/tortoise I had no idea. I only did it when I googled her name. Harriet, the girl who loves turtles and Harriet the real turtle. The name was a coincidence. It turned out to be a pleasurable surprise, I felt like it was meant to be.**

**It was really sad for me to write this chapter, I can't imagine myself doing what Maura has just done. I hope you like it, let me know what you think! And thanks for taking the time to read it. You all rock!**

**:)**


	6. Chapter 6

Jane ran her fingers through her hair before entering Maura's office. Damn, what a long day. It seemed endless to her. All she wanted to do was go home, drink a cold beer and fall sleep, but first she had to do one last thing. Harriet. She had to take the girl to Christine, the social worker that was probably already there. Without knocking she pushed the door and lead herself inside the room. First thing she saw was Maura, sitting by the table reading some notes. The moment Maura noticed her presence she closed the file and smiled at Jane.

'Hey.' It was all that she said. She looked as tired as the brunette.

'Hey, Maur. Where's...' She trailed off when she saw Harriet sleeping on the sofa, all cuddled up in Maura's coat.

For a moment Jane allowed herself to think of her as a cute little girl. If she and Maura had insisted a little more, maybe they would've had their own little girl sleeping at the office, waiting her mommy's to go home. For a moment that thought almost, _almost_, caught her. That girl wasn't hers, and she wasn't her daughter. To be honest, she barely knew her. She refused to go through it again. One time was enough for her to learn how to deal with situations of this kind. Don't get involved. Don't make promises. Don't make it personal.

'Oh...' She added lowering her voice. 'Well, it's time to go. The social worker's here.'

Maura stood up and licked her lips. 'Jane, about that... Do you think that...' She was now twisting her wedding ring.

Wait, was she fidgeting? Jane frowned.

'What, Maur?' She stepped forward.

'I'm thinking that she's very upset. Do you think you could get us some more time?'

'What for? Talking?' It was defensive, Jane didn't mean it to be, but it was. Why was Maura asking for more time? Really, an hour or two wouldn't make any difference. Maura wasn't even a psychologist or whatever.

'Yes. She needs to understand that she's not going home again, that she's never going to see her mother again.'

'I thought you had told her this.'

'I did. But she's a child, Jane. It takes time to...'

'Maura, look, I think Christine can do that, ok? I mean... What's the point of spending another hour here with her? You said it takes time, I mean...' She shrugged her shoulders. The conclusion was too obvious and in her opinion she didn't even have to explain it.

'Actually, I was thinking about... two days, maybe three?'

'What?' Jane was taken aback now. Had she listened it right? _Oh no_. 'Dammit, Maura. You didn't get involve, did you?'

'No, I didn't. But, Jane look at her! She's too young and she's all alone.' Green eyes looked hopefully at her.

_Shit. Shit, Shit_! It always started like this. First you feel some empathy, you care, even though you think it's just compassion and nothing more than that. Then you get involved in the personal life aspects. You wanna do something more because that kid is desperate for her or his parents, because she was abused, or because she was alone. No. Not again, not with her, not with Maura.

Jane ran a hand through her hair and sighed. 'That's why I hate working in cases like these. They all get through us.'

'I know what you think of...'

'Maura,' Jane cut her off, got closer to her and caressed her arms. She wouldn't let Maura do this to herself. She knew the side effect of working in cases like this one. She thought Maura would know better than to get involved, maybe Jane should've warned her, but in the back of her mind the brunette knew that this was something that you don't see yourself getting into, and you only notice that you got hurt when it's too late to get out unharmed.'...sweetheart... She's... She's not our responsibility, you know that, right?'

'I know, but Jane...'

'Maura...' Jane cut her off once more. 'Look, I like her as well, ok? I do. But if you get involve with every person, every family at work... It's gonna drive you crazy.'

'Jane, she's alone. She has no one else.'

'The social worker will take care of it. She will settle the girl with a family.'

'She can't take her now. She's broken-hearted, Jane. She's just lost her mom and she trusts me. It won't be fair just let someone she doesn't even know to carry her out of here.'

'If that's the problem you just have to introduce her to Christine.' It was cold, but she rather see Maura upset now than devastated later.

Maura stared blankly at her. Jane knew that look, although she had seen it only a few times. Really, she didn't wanna be rude. She was just trying to be protective. She was who she was, it was part of her soul. And this protective Jane wasn't only about her job - of course she needed to protect herself while in there, there was a lot of risks involving it, she knew better than anyone. Hoyt had left real scars on her, a reminder of the more vulnerable she was, the bigger the chances of getting hurt. Yes, there was too much to be protected for. When it wasn't about work, it sure was about people. She wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her, or her family and, specially, Maura. Protection, it kept her safe. Them safe. She was just doing what she was good at, but judging by the look of Maura's face, the blonde didn't regard her last words as protection. No. Jane saw a glimpse of resentment in her eyes.

'Did you really just said that?' Maura asked baffled.

'Maura...'

'Don't.' The blonde answered sharply.

Jane didn't tried to apologize. It was useless now.

'You didn't even try to keep distance, did you?'

'I was aware, Jane. But she's a little kid, she deserved better than only words. I'm not that cold.' Maura stated. Of course she wasn't. She might had been a little awkward about social skills and whatever, but she wasn't cold. She cared about people.

'No, you're not.' Jane added. 'I shouldn't have let you do this.' Jane sighed.

'You don't get to chose it. It was my choice.'

'And look at this mess, Maura.' She stretched out her hand, pointing throughout the room. 'And what the hell? Why are you bare foot?'

'It doesn't matter.' She said shortly.

'The social worker is coming. If you think you can't do it, let me.'

'Jane, I can. I just don't think that is right. Can't you understand?'

'Maura... I'm just trying to protect you. I don't wanna see you hurt. Trust me when I say you this: cases like these wound us, they never heal Maura, because we keep poking at it now and then, wondering how they are, what they are doing, if they are safe. It hurts because we can't control their future, it's not our places to do it either. I've been there, Maura. I'm telling you to escape it while you can.'

'I guess it's too late, Jane. Besides, she might help solve this case, you said yourself that no one got a break on it. Maybe she knows something that might help, but doesn't realize that just yet.'

Maura had a point here and Jane knew she was right. Still...

'Then we just have to call social worker if something comes up.'

'Studies show that individuals that went through a trauma like this are most likely to remember details of this traumatic period when they are in a stress-free environment, comfortable enough around people that she or he feels safe.'

Another point. Jane hated it when Maura used science against her because she knew that she could argue against Maura, but definitely could not against science. Shit.

Defeated by the doctor and her science, Jane scoffed.

'Jesus. I hope you're aware of where you're putting yourself into.' She turned her back to Maura and stared at Harriet. This wasn't going to be good.

'Jane?' Maura's fragile voice called her.

'Yes, Maur?' The brunette turned around to her wife again.

'If I need your help on this, would you give me?'

Jane smiled sadly at her. She knew Maura wouldn't give up, she was as stubborn as Jane. Maura was asking her to be her accomplice on this. She was asking Jane, the one who always chose to walk in safe ground, to step on a quicksand. Maura would be suck by it. Jane would go with her.

'Please?'

Jane hesitated at first, but Maura seemed so helpless, engaged and decided at the same time, that Jane didn't have the heart to say no. Maura needed her and for her own sake, Jane would rather be by her side in case something went wrong. The panic button had been pressed and a constant voice screamed inside her mind; 'danger, danger, danger...' But she was following Maura, because, crap!, she wouldn't let her do it alone.

'You know I've got your back, Maur.' She finally answered, almost regretting her words.

'One of the reasons I love you.' Maura felt the tension going away. She smiled timidly at Jane.

'I love you too, sweetheart. Now gather her things and wake her up.'

'Jane?'

'You don't have to say it. I know what you're thinking.'

'You do.' It was a half question.

Jane almost giggled. As if she didn't know Maura so well. She walked over to her wife and held her hands 'I do, and I'm gonna hate myself if someday I see you crying over this.'

Maura knew that she was genuinely concerned about her, she could tell by the way Jane was studying her face, the way her eyes looked at her. She appreciated all the concern, however she was a grown up woman, she knew what she was doing. Right?

'Let's hope I'm not.' She breathed and placed a peck on Jane's lips.

'So, here's something else: prepare yourself. As I told you, I've been down this road before.'

* * *

It hadn't been easy at all to convince the social worker that the girl had to stay with them. They had had a hard time. On one side of the room, the woman refused to let Harriet there, and from the other side, Harriet (grabbed at Maura's legs) yelled at the woman that 'no way I'm going with you, I don't know you, don't touch me!' Jane had figured out that an irritated Harriet could become a beast.

After a lot of arguing, after Cavanaugh had appeared on the floor to interfere, after Jane's promises that she would certainly fill her in about Harriet's situation in the case, after Maura's attempts to calm down the girl and promise to the social worker to take care of her, call her if anything went wrong, to update her at least three times a day, they had made a deal.

The girl would stay with Maura and Jane.

Under their responsibility.

For three days.

'Both of you. Do not disappoint me.'

'We sure don't wanna do that.' Jane said between teeth, but smiling.

Harriet made a angry face to the woman before she left. She was happy that she was staying, but she had to make it clear: she didn't like Christine. She hated her. For only one reason: She was trying to take her away from the two people she relied on now. The moment the woman turned her back to then, she smiled to Jane and Maura. An angel face.

'Thank you.' She whispered.

Both of them smiled to her.

'So...' Jane started. 'What's the point of almost killing each other to let you stay at home with us if we're not going home?'

'Right.' Harriet tried to walk towards Jane but Maura's coat was making the mission really impossible. She tripped everytime she tried a step forward.

'Ok, wait.' Jane rose her hand. 'Maura, why don't you take her home? I have to finish some things here. I'll be there in an hour or so.'

'Are you sure? We can wait.'

'No, really. Go. You're tired. She's tired.' Jane put a strand of hair behind Maura's ear. Some cops were staring but she couldn't care any less.

'All right then. Meet you at home.'

'Want me to buy some food?' She asked while Maura put Harriet again in her arms.

'That would be great. Chinese?'

'Chinese!' Harriet lifted her arms.

'Chinese will be.' Jane shrugged.

* * *

'Are you taking this kid home, Jane?' Her mother asked casually as she stopped by the cafe to say good bye. Jane knew the purpose behind the question.

'Yes, we are.'

'Is Maura gonna be okay with this?' There. Her mother had always started conversations like this. Smoothly, but that woman wasn't naive at all. Simple questions like this always led to something Jane wouldn't normally talk about.

'It was her decision.' She answered a little bothered.

'I see. You don't look to agree with this.' A subtle remark.

'You bet I don't.'

'Jane...'

'Ma, stop it. I shouldn't have let her talk to Harriet. Now she's asked for three days, but sooner or later the kid's going to another place no matter what. '

'She just want to help, Jane. She has a big heart and Harriet is just a kid who needs it now.'

'She shouldn't have got involved, she crossed a line.' She was accusing Maura, because honestly, what the hell was she thinking? And she was also mad at herself because agreeing with her on this was a shitty decision. She was irritated.

'You did it once too, didn't you?'

'Yes, exactly! That's why I know how this is gonna end.'

Her mother smiled sadly at her. She wanted to say that she didn't know that for sure. Sometimes life surprises us. But knowing her own daughter, she wouldn't insist.

'Be there for her, then.'

'I will, Ma.'

'I need to go now, sorry Jane. Talk to you when I get home, okay? Don't do anything stupid!'

'What, hot date?' Jane smirked.

Angela chastised Jane by hitting her purse on her shoulder.

'Ouch! What's that for?' She feigned to be in pain, rubbing the place.

'Show some respect for your own mother, Jane Clementine Rizzoli!'

'Don't...' Too late, Jane. She looked around and prayed for the good God she believed in that no one had listened to her full name.

Her mother was gone now, before she could reprimand her. For her own sake, she decided to get out of that place, before something else decided to happen that day. It was enough for now.


	7. Chapter 7

It was dark outside. The days had become into nights earlier on that season and the night temperature dropped so fast. Maura killed the engine as she looked behind to watch Harriet. She was quiet, looking out the window, raised eyebrows. She suddenly turned her head and blinked her eyes at Maura.

'Is that your house?' She pressed her index finger against the window glass.

Maura shook her head in the positive. 'Yes.'

'Oh.' Harriet studied the the door entrance illuminated by a dim light.

'Ready to go?'

'Yeah.'

Maura got out of the car and closed the door. A gust of cold wind hit her face and she narrowed her eyes. She walked around the car and helped Harriet free herself from the seatbelt. The girl was still wearing Maura's coat so Maura didn't have other option but carry her all the way. They made it to the door and once inside, Maura put the girl onto the ground.

They stood still for a minute. This was all new for both of them. Maura had never been all alone with a kid before, she didn't know exactly the drill, that is, if there was some. What should she do at first? Show her the house? No, she wouldn't be interested on this. Maybe she should... But the sound of little paws trotting on wooden floor brought her back to reality. There was Joe Friday, making her appearance. First she sniffled and put two paws against Maura's leg, as if saying hello to her owner, then, she drove her attention to the guest. Carefully, she approximated and sniffled. The girl stretched her hand out and Jo licked it.

'Oh!' The dark-haired exclaimed. 'That's your dog.' She said it to Maura, but was now patting Jo's head.

'Yes. That's Jo Friday. I think she likes you.' Maura said a little bit comfortable now that Harriet had found something to amuse herself with, which reminded Maura...

'She's cute.'

'Isn't she? And remember that I've told you I have a tortoise?'

'Yes!' Harriet eyes were wide open, Jo was now licking her and wagging her tail, but had been momentarily forgotten.

'Would you like to know him?'

'Sure!' She said with all her energy left.

Maura waited her to strip her coat off, then took her hand and walked around the house. Bass was in the kitchen, so the tour wasn't that big. He was next to the freezer, and Harriet stopped dead as she saw the pet.

'Harriet, that's Bass.'

'It's big.' It was a little observation. Maura smiled satisfied with Harriet's expression. She was something between perplexed and admired. Her eyes were moving fast, back and forth, as if trying to get all the image at once, not willing to miss a little detail.

'Yes, he is. Would you like to pet him?'

'Can I?'

'Of course.'

The girl stepped forward but didn't let go of Maura's hands. Slowly, she crouched in front of the animal that was now looking at her and since she wouldn't let go of Maura's hand, the blond found herself kneeling down as well.

She reached for the tortoise, patted once lightly on his head, but as Bass quickly retracted his head into his shell Harriet stepped backwards and bumped into Maura.

'Oh!' She said, raising her hands, clearly afraid.

'That's okay, honey. He's docile.' Maura held Harriet's waist and pulled her straight up again. 'Let's try this...' She walked to the fridge and got some green leafs. 'Lettuce. Do you want to try and give it to him?'

Harriet seemed insecure.

'I'll help you, come here.'

Maura gave the leaf for Harriet and guiding her hand with her own, put it next to Bass. The tortoise put his head out and took a bite. Blue eyes turned to Maura in almost disbelief.

'Again?' She murmured, enchanted.

'Yes, now go by yourself.' Maura motivated her.

She did it once. Then twice. Then she looked comfortable enough there feeding Maura's tortoise, as if she had been doing it for a long time. The blonde decided to sit on the ground at some point, because her knees were already hurting, but she was enjoying seeing the girl interacting with Bass.

After leafs and leafs of lettuce, the tortoise was satisfied and decided to move along and get some peaceful place to take a nap. Harriet watched him disappear behind the kitchen counter then turned herself to Maura.

'Does he only eat this?'

'No. He likes strawberries and hibiscus.'

'Oh... It must be really nice to have a tortoise.'

'It is.'

Harriet bit her lower lip. Her mother had told her that maybe, someday, she would have one. But what now? She didn't have her mother anymore, how could she have a turtle? The thought made her sad. She wanted a turtle and most of all, she wanted her mother. And suddenly all this seemed very strange. She didn't know Maura, that wasn't her place, she didn't feel like home. She wanted to go home. She shouldn't have left her place that morning. Maybe if she had stayed there...

'What's on your mind, Harriet?' Maura asked, noticing that the girl had became sad.

'It's...' She lowered her head, ashamed. 'I like you, Maura. But can you take me home?'

Maura sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. The world wasn't fair. It wasn't fair a mother being murdered and a six-year-old kid being left behind, alone in this immense place full of danger, mean people, hard life. Alone and oblivious to all of this, not having anyone to guide her and protect her until she's old enough to do it by herself. Maura wish she could do something to ease her pain, but the truth is not always kind.

'Harriet... Do you know that even if you go home you'd stay alone there?'

'Maybe she comes back home?' She asked in a last attempt.

'No sweetie. I... told you, remember?'

She shook her head yes, silent tears streaming down her face. 'Can't I go home? I'll never go home again?'

'You will have a new home, Harriet. It might take a time, but I promise you, you will. Now, why don't you take a shower? It's getting late and you're exhausted.'

The girl ignored her suggestion. 'Where's my home now, Maura?'

Unarmed, Maura had no response for this. Although, it was a fair question, it led to another topic; one that Maura was not willing to talk about now. The girl had had enough for a day. Choosing to leave it for tomorrow, she wrapped her arms around Harriet and stood up, bringing the girl with her into her arms.

'Sweetie, you're so tired that this conversation we're having won't make any sense. Let's forget it for now, okay?'

She felt Harriet's head moving slightly against her hair. Maura walked into the guest room and switched on the light. Then she got into the bathroom and made Harriet an offer.

'Shower or bath?'

'Bath..?' Her fragile voice came uncertain.

'Okay.'

Maura sat on the edge of the bathtub and switched its faucet open, waiting patiently while it was being filled. Harriet's head was resting against her collar bone and the girl was breathing heavily now. Maura knew she was tired, in a way a kid shouldn't be. She ran her hand up and down her back, the water murmur lulling them both to a state of hypnosis.

'Harriet?' She called, breaking the effect.

'Hm.'

'I know you scared, but I want you to know that you're safe in here. Okay?'

A head moving in the positive.

'Good. Now, let's take off your clothes and bath.'

The girl went to the ground and raised her arms up. It took Maura a moment to understand the gesture.

'Oh...' She bent forward and helped her out of the dress.

'Don't look!' The girl demanded while putting off her little panties.

'I'm not.' She put the dress on the sink.

The girl jumped into the bathtub and stayed there for a while, not talking.

'I'll prepare something for you to eat.' Maura announced, knowing that the girl was comfortable there.

'Maura... Before you go... Can you wash my hair?'

The blonde smiled to her. 'Yes. Strawberry or lavender?'

'Strawberry, so Bass will like me more.'

Maura giggled. 'I see.'

* * *

Two hours later Jane was getting home. Maura had called her once, but she was too busy buying some stuff and lost the call. With bags on hands, she opened the door and got into the house. Finally at home. God, she really wanted some rest. It took only a minute to Jo Friday meet her in the living room. Wagging her tail, she sniffled the bags.

'No, Jo. That's not for you!'

'Jane, is that you?' Maura's voice came preceding her.

'Yeah!' She walked up to the kitchen counter and put the bags there.

'Why did you take so long?' Maura was behind her now.

Jane turned around and put her arms around her wife's waist. 'I'm sorry. I stopped by some stores.' She gave her a peck.

'Stores?' Maura tilted her head to the side.

'Yeah? And I brought us takeout!'

'Good, I'm starving. What else did you bring?' Maura kissed her chin and rest her arms around Jane's neck.

'Some things. So, where's Harriet?'

'She's bathing.'

'Oh... Look at this.' Jane selected a specific bag and opened it after letting go of Maura. They were standing arm to arm now.

'What's that?'

'Well, you know... I drove to the restaurant, and did you know that there's a nice store next to it? I thought that Harriet would need some clothes, you know, since she's staying here for a couple of days... And I bought them.'

The brunette emptied the plastic bag. Maura was impressed. Baffled. She wasn't expecting for this.

She studied every item, one by one. Two pairs of jeans, two sweatpants (a pink one and a lavender one), five pairs of panties, two sweatshirts, two T-shirts with cartoons stamped on it. And to top it off...

'What's that?' Maura unfolded the last clothing. It was soft, too soft, green and... 'Is this a costume?'

'No! It's a pajama. Isn't that nice? I think she's gonna like it.' Jane shrugged.

It was a hooded pajama. It looked like a costume because it was the turtle that Harriet loved so much. Maura ran her hands over the fabric. It was soft, comfortable, it seemed hot. Yes, a child would definitely sleep well in that. Harriet would have at least a reason to smile after this horrible day. She would love it, Maura was sure. She didn't know the reasons Jane had bought it to her, but she was impressed. She wasn't expecting anything else than little talks between she and Harriet, but beyond appearances, Jane cared about the girl, cared enough to buy a customized pajamas. That was Jane, hard outside, and, so alike the fabric in her hands, soft inside.

'Maura?' Jane whispered because the blonde had lost herself in thoughts.

'Yes?'

'Why do you look sad?' She asked warily, her voice lowered.

Maura licked her lips, folded the clothing again and put it on the counter. Jane was still waiting for a response as she turned her attention back to her.

'I...' She looked to her feet. 'You would be a great mother.' She wouldn't meet Jane's eyes, so she just kept staring at the floor.

'Oh, honey...' Jane stepped towards her and embraced the blonde as tight as she could. There it was that feeling again, the helpless, that sense of loss that they'd been trying so hard to fight back for months. It'd came in waves, uninvited, unwarned from time after time. But as the main storm had passed, the waves were now weaker than before.

Jane kissed Maura's temple and the blonde sighed heavily against her neck.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't...' She said already pulling away, but Jane pushed her back because she knew she was avoiding it. The brunette rested her hands against the small of Maura's back.

'No, Maur. C'mon.' Jane kissed her cheek. 'What can I do for you?'

Maura looked up to finally meet Jane's eyes.

Jane saw the sorrow into the blonde's eyes matching her own. If she could grab it with her hands, if she could carry it by herself, she would do it. She would set Maura free from it. It pained her twice, she suffered by herself and for knowing that Maura was suffering it too.

'Just stay with me?'

'For ever.' Jane promised.

'It's too much time, you know that, right?' She narrowed her eyes, defying Jane.

'It seems just a little if I'm going to spend it with you.' Maura smiled at her, cupped her face with both hands and gave her a slow kiss on the lips.

'You make me so happy.'

Jane held her tightly - still so softly - in her arms. 'Well, what can I say? Your mobster father threatened me, so I'd better make you happy, otherwise... Well, I don't even wanna think about it.'

Maura giggled and slapped her wife.

'And also... I almost forgot this... It's because you are the love of my life.'

'That's better.'

Jane leaned in and captured Maura's lips in hers again, sucking them gently before turning it into a deeper kiss. Jane pressed their bodies together, craving for some time alone with Maura, for her soft skin, her delicate caresses, for her sweetness. Hell, nothing compared to the feeling of getting home knowing that Maura would be there waiting for her, making the shitty days lighter and the good days even better. Jane loved her, every inch of her body, every trace of her brilliant mind, every gesture. She was so in love, so ridiculously in love with her. For years.

And so was Maura with her, she knew it. From the days she woke up feeling Maura's lips on her shoulder, or cheeks, or neck, she knew it. Every time Maura looked at her before spending one hour, maybe more, without seeing her, she knew it. Every time she lay down her head on Maura's lap, she knew it. When Jane held her hand in front of everybody, proud of who she was and who she was with, Maura's eyes lit up like the big stars. She saw love in there, admiration, friendship, desire. She saw a content soul that had found its half part, like Maura had told her once - that the Greek Gods had separated people that came from the same soul in two, leaving them with nothing but an uncompleted one. They were condemned to that sense of lack, unless they found the half absent part.

Jane had found hers. Her soul mate. Her Maura. Her reason, her sense. They were happy - even with the problems, even with the bad days, even with some differences. Their love didn't bend before difficulties, it wouldn't break, it wouldn't even crack. They were strong together.

Maura smiled brightly before moving her lips away of Jane's. 'I love you too.'

'I know you do.' Jane's voice was hoarse.

'But it's just a little.' Maura giggled.

'Don't break my heart, Maura Rizzoli-Isles!' Jane protested making Maura giggle again - it was her favorite pastime.

Maura bent over to kiss her again, but a little voice got their attention.

'Hi.' Harriet was looking at them, motionless, holding the big towel around her shoulders, her hands in front of her chest keeping it in place.

'Oh, hey. You there.' Jane blushed. Did she see them kissing?

'Harriet, come over here. Jane bought you some clothes.' Maura waved her hand to her, then wrapped the towel correctly around her little body, letting her hands free.

'Did you?' She looked at the brunette.

'In fact, I did! Want you to see this one first, though. Look...' She grabbed the pajamas and unfolding it lowered to Harriet's view. 'What do you think?'

'It's... squirtle?'

'Yes! It's for you.' Jane grinned all excited. She was hoping for, at least, a smile of contentment because she knew Harriet had a thing about this turtle, but that was not the girl's reaction.

She reached for the clothing, her eyes darting from it and to Jane's, then, her lips curling down, tightening her grip on the soft material she started to cry out loud.

Jane looked at Maura helpless, confused. 'What did I do?'

'Jane... She's just tired and sensitive.' Maura shrugged apologetically, even if it wasn't her fault.

'Well... I...' She was lost. What should she do now? But Maura was there to save her.

'Harriet,' she knelt down in front of her, 'it's okay sweetie. Did you like it?'

'I-I did!' She wiped the tears out of her face with one hand.

'Well, let me dry you so you can put it on.'

'O-okay.'

'Okay, let me.' Maura took off the towel and dried her off, then helped her with the panties. 'There you go. Let's put it on now.'

'...kay'

First the legs, then the arms. It was some kind of sleepsuit, with buttons going from the belly to the neck, only. Finishing with buttoning up the pajama, Maura folded the sleeves - although Jane had asked a size for a six-year-old, Harriet was smaller than other kids at her age - and put on the hood.

'Now you're ready. Let's take a look.' The three of them walked to the mirror and Harriet giggled at her own view there.

A child's mind was very confusing for Jane, but at least she had liked it.

'Well. I guess we have one more turtle in our place, Maura.' She teased.

Harriet face lit up with Jane's remark. She ran up to her and embraced her legs. 'Thank you so much, Jane. It's perfect.'

Jane crouched down and gave her a hug. 'You're welcome, baby girl. What about dinner now? I don't know you, but I, for one, am starving!'

Harriet shook her head yes.

They had dinner together on the couch, watching TV - a cartoon that Harriet had chosen - but fifteen minutes after it, she was yawning, then she rested her head against Jane's thigh and lulled by the sound coming from the TV, she fell asleep. Jane made sure that she was sleeping tightly before carrying her to the guestroom. She was light and small and it was so easy to carry her around. And Jesus, she was so cute in that pajama. Jane entered the room and sat onto the bed, holding Harriet in her arms a little longer. She understood why Maura liked her. She was smart, funny, intriguing. She was honest about her own emotions - maybe because she was just a little kid yet - and she was also a beautiful kid, that was undeniable. Big blue eyes, dark hair, fair skin.

Yeah, Jane herself liked her. She shouldn't, she knew what was about to come after these days, and yet, she couldn't avoid it. That's why she had told Maura to stay away, only because she knew she would also get caught on this. But the first cut is the deepest, isn't that what they say? She'd been through this before, when the time came she would know how to deal with the situation, she had already knew this pain before. But what about Maura? How would she react to that?

How Harriet would react to that?

Shaking her head sadly, Jane placed a kiss on Harriet's forehead and caressed her cheek with the thumb. She prayed to a nice family adopt her, she deserved a nice home, nice relatives, maybe brothers and sisters. Who knows? There was a lot of possibilities. Jane tried to ignore that little voice in her mind saying _including the bad ones_; she wasn't naive but she hoped with all heart that Harriet would ended up into a big and warm family.

Harriet shifted on her lap and Jane, not wanting to disturb her sleep anymore, put her in bed, covered the girl up to her chin and turned off the light, letting the door open, just in case. Maura was bathing, Jane would join her.

The night was only beginning.


	8. Chapter 8

So chapter 8 is up (again). Thank you for your patience. I promise that I'll bring a brand new chapter by the end of the week.

Thanks for reviewing, and welcome new readers :)

x

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'Hey, mind if I come in?' The brunette asked as she put her head into the bathroom. She showed Maura the bottle of wine and two glasses that she was holding.

'Are we having a party?' Maura arched a perfect eyebrow as she turned her head to her wife, repressing a giggle as she saw Jane's mischievous smile growing on her face.

'It's up to you, I already brought the alcohol.'

Maura giggled and waved her hand, inviting Jane to get into the tub. 'Come here with me.'

Before going, Jane poured the glasses with wine, handed them to Maura and only then undressed. Slowly she got in the tub sitting herself in front of Maura. The blonde smiled at her and passed the glass again to her wife's hand.

'God, this is so relaxing.' Jane said passing her long legs beside Maura's body, the hot water already working on her tensed muscles.

'Yes, that's why I am here. I sleep better after a hot bath, and today I could really use one of this. My body's so sore.' She sipped her wine. 'Is Harriet okay?'

'Mhm.' Jane sighed. 'I'm sorry if I was a jerk earlier today...' Jane breathed out. She was feeling bad for her behavior, even if it was to spare Maura of some future pain.

'So that's an I'm-sorry-have-some-wine bath?' Maura asked, not giving much attention to the brunette's words; the truth is she hadn't been bothered about Jane's overprotective reaction, well, not anymore. Not after Jane have bought Harriet cute pajamas and clothes, which meant that she was definitely supporting Maura.

Jane giggled. 'No... That's an I'm-trying-to-be-a-good-wife bath.'

Maura sipped her wine and murmured to Jane, 'You have always been.'

'Oh baby, come here.' Jane opened her arms and Maura got closer to her. She passed her legs around Jane's waist and rested her head on Jane's collar bone. The brunette put her glass on the edge of the tube and started to run her hands on Maura's back, up and down, pressing her fingers on soft skin. They stayed in silent for minutes; Maura enjoying the massage and Jane enjoying the warm air hitting her neck as Maura breathed in and then out. The only sound was the water bubbling when one of them shifted slightly their positions. After one long sigh, Jane felt Maura's body growing heavier against her own.

Completely relaxed, in just a few minutes. That was one - out of lots - effects that Jane caused on her. It was moments like this one when Maura felt exposed to Jane, as though she had resigned to who she was to the world, to surrender herself to Jane . And Jane had so much to offer her, she could be so much better with her wife. Her sweet and brave wife. Her rock. Maura sometimes thought of Jane as her temple. A peaceful place where she could find clarity, serenity, her heart. Everytime she felt overwhelmed, lost, confused, sad; everytime she wanted to escape from the world because she felt sick of such horrible people; everytime she wanted to run away from reality; when she had a bad day... All she needed to do was place her head on Jane's chest and listen to her heart beating warmly into it, guiding her back to herself, to her senses. Calming down her shaken soul.

She felt blessed. She had asked herself - exactly three days ago - if this thing that she and Jane had was something rare, designated to only few people. If so, they were really lucky. A love like this couldn't be found so easily; she had been watching people looking for this for long - including herself before knowing Jane.

'Maur, you sleeping in there?' Jane's voice sounded distant in her mind.

The blonde shook her head no, but didn't move at all. 'I'm quite comfortable here.' She murmured embracing Jane's waist with one arm, soaking up such comfort.

Maura's lips moving against her neck sent a shiver down her spine. A kiss was planted there.

'You're so soft.'

'And so are you, honey. Just don't sleep here.' Jane chuckled before kissing her head. Maura's current state of mind was closer to sleep than reality, making her speak incoherent things.

'Will not.' She murmured again, her muffled words dying on Jane's neck.

Jane nodded her head and tightened her arms around Maura body. The blonde was practically melting inside her. It was sweet the way Maura gave herself to her, trusted her.

'Okay, Maur, c'mon! You _are_ sleeping in there!'

'No, I'm not!' She defended herself and pulled away looking into Jane's eyes as though to prove her point, but her own tired ones betrayed her.

Jane rolled her eyes at Maura's stubbornness, but she wouldn't argue with her. 'Drink your wine, Maur. It's too expansive to be wasted.' Jane pointed out to the glass that, miraculously, hadn't been dropped into the tube.

'I am drinking.' The blonde changed her position and now her back was resting against Jane's chest. The brunette passed her arms around her, her hands was resting on Maura's belly now, and distractingly she started to massage it. As the blonde tensed under her touche she realized the mistake she had made. The gesture had meant something big between them, months ago, but now it was only a painful memory. She cursed herself. What the hell was she thinking? Except that she wasn't. It was an unintentional act, and maybe it was time to bring it up anyway.

'Maura,' she kissed the blonde's nape and wrapped her arms tightly around her, 'I know you still want a baby.'

Silence.

Caught off guard.

The blonde shifted between Jane's legs, but she had no place to run. The only benefit of her position was that she wasn't looking into Jane's eyes, which gave her some extra time before preparing her answer. Too bad that the words had seemed to abandon her.

'I-I... We don't have to...' She rambled, lost in her own lack of logic.

'We don't have to talk, yeah I know, but I want to, Maur. You've been distracted lately. Is that the reason?'

'Yes.' She said honestly because there was no point on putting this conversation off anymore.

'Wanna share?'

'I...' She sighed and clasped her hands in Jane's looking for an invisible force there. 'Last week... I'd be on the thirty-second week.'

'Yeah... I know. Eight months.'

'I thought that by now I... I don't know, this feeling would have faded away, I would have overcome it. But now that, you know... It was supposed to be that close... To the date, I...'

'Maura, it's okay to be upset. Why didn't you tell me this before?'

'You were so busy last week working on two cases, Jane, I didn't want to overwhelm you with this, again.'

'Maura, that's my job, only my job. You're my whole life.'

'I don't understand.' Maura sighed out of frustration.

'What, honey?'

'I've been through the five stages of grief. All of them, it was supposed to be over now. This nostalgic feeling of loss? Why is it still lasting, Jane?'

'Because you're not a cyborg, Maura. Grief is not a mission or, I don't know, a task to be completed. You can't just go through it and save it in some place inaccessible in your mind.'

'I wish I could.'

'Why don't you talk to me instead? You are the one who told me once that talk may help. What are you feeling?'

'As if I am waiting for a passed thing that it won't happen again. Like once, when I was a kid and I missed the fireworks on the fourth of July.'

'But just like the chance to see the fireworks next year, you have the chance to try it again.'

'I don't know if I want to.'

'What? Why?' Jane said taken aback, not really caring about the tone on her voice. It had really surprised her listening to Maura said just like this that she had given up on having a kid. The blonde's response came with a shuddering voice, maybe because the truth behind it was bigger than she could put in words, even with her brilliant mind, maybe because she was still feeling fragile and, since she wouldn't let herself fall apart again, a shaky voice would be the only sign of weakness she'd allow escape from herself, only to decrease the pressure within her chest.

'Because it's painful? The shots, needles, the hormones... It seems a long shot to me. Not speaking about the wait...' She sighed in frustration.

Jane remained quiet for a moment. Maura's words was still floating in the room and they needed to land in Jane's mind and sink in before she could speak again. It didn't take so long, after all.

'We can study other options.' She said silently. When Maura had told her the first time she wanted a baby, the brunette knew that Maura was willing to carry it. She was happy about it, in fact she was looking forward to it. They had never discussed other options, because the first in their mind would apparently work out just fine. Until Maura's miscarriage. After that, they hadn't talked about it anymore. Not until now.

'Yes, we can.' Maura's hand came over Jane's one, then the blonde brought it next to her mouth and kissed the scarred palm. It was a gesture of gratefulness towards Jane, for not pushing her further, for being so open and capable of reading Maura's mind. They would figure this out, together.

'I'm sorry, Maura.' Jane whispered next to her ear as she rested her chin on Maura's shoulder.

'For what?'

'Sometimes I think that if I were a man, it'd be easier for you to have a baby.'

'What?' She jerked her head to gaze at Jane. The remark startled Maura for a second. She had made it clear of how much she loved Jane, and it was a lot, however, she knew that Jane could be a little insecure regarding her own actions. She always wanted to give Maura her best. She wanted to know if Maura was comfortable enough, happy, or 'have I told you how beautiful you are' or 'how much I love you today' she would say everyday, specially the ones they spent apart. She would give anything Maura asked her to, except that Maura wouldn't ask for anything else, considering how much Jane had already given to her. She couldn't be happier right now - okay, maybe with a kid, but that was un-Jane-related. Definitely. Maura couldn't love anyone else the way she loved Jane. She loved her wild eyes that now was contemplating her. Her unruly hair matching her strong personality. Any other reality different from this one, Maura would deny it.

'I'm just saying.'

Maura turned herself to face Jane. Was she being serious? 'Jane, you know I had the chance to date some guys before. I could've had a child before, if I wanted to.'

'Yeah, I know...'

'Listen.' Maura cut her off. 'Why did I marry you?'

'Because you love me.' The answer came fast, full of certain.

'Right. And I love you exactly for who you are. And if I want a baby, I just want it with you, because I think it'd be so good for a child to receive the same kind of love I do.' Maura placed a kiss on Jane's lips. 'I want you.' Another kiss. 'Just you'. A kiss again. 'Exactly like this.' A kiss on her chin. 'You're perfect to me.'

This time Maura placed her lips on Jane's and it wouldn't be only a peck. She kissed her slowly, cupping her face with both hands, her fingers pressing soft skin before getting into her curly hair. Maura pulled away only a little, enough to look at Jane's eyes. 'You're everything I need. Please, stay just the same.' Once more, Maura wrapped Jane's body with her legs, pressing them together and kissing her neck in adoration. She felt Jane's hands holding her waist, her long fingers pressing now and then, and just a moment later her husky voice sounded next to Maura's ear.

'I thought that you were tired.' She said nibbling Maura's ear bone.

'I'm never tired when it comes to loving you.' She whispered as her hands slowly ran up Jane's waist, and when it reached the level of her breasts, Maura trailed her fingers along firm flesh, teasing already hardened nipples. Jane's small approvable moan turned into a gasp when Maura pressed her hand against her breast and squeezed it gently, sending a burning pain between her legs.

Maura grabbed Jane's lips between her teeth and slowly pulled it, as if inviting Jane to something illegal, alluring, and under Maura's spell she found herself giving in to her desire.

'Let me love you tonight.' Maura whispered as she let go of Jane's lower lip, her hands already traveling down the brunette's belly, not really giving her a time to think straight, thin fingers brushing teasingly her lower belly.

'Let me take you to our bed first.' She said suggestively.

'We're wet.' Maura estated.

'Don't you say.' Jane smirked and pressed her own thigh against Maura's center.

'Oh!' She gasped, closing her eyes. 'You know what, never mind about wet sheets.' She reluctantly stood up, offering Jane her hands to help her stand, and halfway to the bed, before she notice, she was wrapping her legs around Jane's waist, being carried and kissed. After a few steps, Jane stopped at the edge of the bed and gently placed Maura on it, the blonde shifted herself so Jane could crawl onto it as well, her knees now supporting her full weight, close enough to Maura's core. Yeah, it wasn't unnoticed by her. She started to move herself against Jane's thigh while the brunette kissed her almost desperately, even though her reaction had nothing to do with sex abstinence. No. It was all about how much Jane loved her, how close she needed to be with Maura, to taste her, enjoying the simple fact that she was there, that Maura was hers.

Needing some air, Jane broke the kiss and stared at Maura. A gasp of surprised passed through her lips as Maura switched their positions: now the blonde was on top, and she had straddled Jane's legs, a mischievous smile was dancing on her face, her eyes promising that Jane would have a little torture before having Maura's fingers where she needed the most.

It would be slow. First Maura's lips came to find her neck, and as the first kiss landed on her skin, she closed her eyes and held her wife's waist, and Maura continued to kiss every inch of her skin, going down to her collar bone, pressing light kisses, her warm breath hitting the brunette's skin, sending shivers down to Jane's spine now and then. When soft lips found her nipples she couldn't help but let out a moan of pleasure. Maura knew that Jane was arching her back when she felt pressure against her mouth. Leading her hand to grab the other breast, Maura heard another moan escaping Jane's mouth; it was a pleading one, but Maura was not in hurry. She took all the time she needed, then, only then when she thought it was enough, she slid down her tongue along Jane's perfect toned belly, and just as Jane thought that finally Maura would work down there, the blonde started to plant kisses all over her belly, gently, lovingly, adoring Jane in her sweetest way.

In need of a new position to support her body, Maura shifted, kneeling on the bed and resting her hands on Jane's hip. She glanced at Jane and bit her lip unconsciously, lowering herself,her lips again finding Jane's lower belly, right after her belly button... Maura placed a kiss there, and went down... Trailing her hands to the brunette's inner thighs, she forced the legs open, and teasingly she brushed her lips on the inner thigh and without warning sucked it hardly, letting a small mark there, and smiled satisfied at Jane's loud moan.

Yes, Maura was too close to her center now. She was aching, she needed Maura there. 'Please,' she begged as she locked her eyes with Maura's, 'Maur, please.' She buried her hands in Maura's hair, as if it was a last plea, but again Maura was in no hurry. Her naughty smile grew on her lips and reflected in her eyes. She ran her tongue between her lips to damp them and then, tortuously, placed a soft kiss on Jane's swollen clit. The brunette squirmed herself and a desperate moan came out of her mouth. She tightened her grip on Maura's hair and between clenched teeth she asked 'please, just fuck me now.'

Finally attending to Jane's need, Maura ran her tongue between wet folds, once, twice, tasting her juicy core and again licking her lips. The sight of Jane biting her own lip and twisting was something beautiful. She wanted more than that, though. She wanted Jane trembling under her touch, losing control, screaming her name. And she knew so well how to do that.

'Jane... Tell me what you want.' Her voice was unusually deep.

'Your fingers inside me!' She grunted.

Maura held up two fingers to her and arched an eyebrow, a question in the air.

'Yes, c'mon Maura!'

That naughty smile again. The blonde lowered her fingers and pressed them and traced light circles on Jane's clit.

'Fuck, Maura! Inside me!' She begged, her voice trembling out of arousal.

Only then the blonde slid her fingers inside Jane, first slowly, feeling the walls pressing them tightly, but as the wetness allowed her fingers to go in and out easily, she started to thrust them with no mercy. And at the sound of Jane's moans she felt the wetness flowing between her own legs, her own breathing growing heavier.

Suddenly strong arms pulled her upward and Jane kissed her passionately. Maura continue with the movements between Jane's legs. 'Maura', she whispered as the blonde pulled away to catch some air. Maura leaned closer to her again and slowing the thrust she asked 'Yes, baby?', but 'Maura' again, she said, and this time Maura understood. She knew it was some kind of plea, some kind of surrender, because Maura was making love to her, loving her and adoring her, and Jane felt safe, felt home, and she was about to lose herself in Maura, to break in little pieces and she would need Maura to catch every little piece of her later. So, 'yes, come to me, baby', Maura said as she increased the thrusts and captured Jane's lips on hers again, 'I've got you, come to me', it was between kisses and unsteady breath and moans.

And then, when Jane felt it was too much to handle, she held Maura tightly, and let it go. Then her trembling body wasn't hers anymore. Then, all her senses had became Maura. Maura in her mouth, Maura on her skin, in her nose, inside her. 'Oh, Maura!', because she was intoxicated - and it felt so good - and then 'Maura!' again, because maybe something inside her was falling apart, and 'Maura' again, because it was the only thing left that made sense to her.

After the main shock, Jane found herself floating into peace, even though little tremors ran through her body; even though it was hard to breath and it was hard to open her eyes, she couldn't feel lighter than this, better than this. Or she thought so... Because soon soft hands cupped her face and kissed softly her trembling lips and she knew what was like to feel in heaven.

'Jane, come back to me, baby.' Maura said, her lips brushing lightly against Jane's as she spoke.

But Jane couldn't speak yet, so she just pressed her fingers into Maura's back.

'There you are...' Maura caressed her cheek, then put a strand of hair behind Jane's ear. 'You're so beautiful. I love you so much.' She landed a kiss on Jane's neck. 'My beautiful wife.' A kiss on her jawline. 'My sweet Jane.'

When Jane was finally able to open her eyes, she met Maura's green ones, and all she saw there was love, the purest form of love inside of them. 'Maura, God...' She was able to breath.

Maura beamed at her. She loved to see Jane undone like that. She ran her thumb back and forth on her cheek as Jane tightened her arms around Maura's body, the place they always belonged to.

'That was... Wow.' She stated, still trying to even her breath.

Maura giggled. 'You deserve so much more than that.' She gave Jane a peck on her lips.

'I want to take you there.' Jane tried to get up to change positions, but Maura pushed her back into bed, and she tried to resist but her muscles wasn't responding correctly to her commands.

'No, sweetheart. I said _I_ wanted to love you tonight. So let me love you, give you my love.' Maura rolled over only to bring Jane into her arms. The brunette rested her head on Maura's collarbone. It felt so safe, so soft, so Maura. She put an arm around her wife, feeling the warmth emanating from it and sighed loudly, now too comfortable there, even to move a muscle.

'So tomorrow?' Jane asked _almost_ in an innocent voice.

'You promised to love me through eternity, remember?' Maura giggled as Jane lifted her head and gave her a playful smile. Then she rested her head against Maura once more, and the blonde started to run her fingers through unruly hair.

'I want to make sure that you understand, Jane, how much I need you in my life.' Maura kissed Jane's head.

'I do know, Maur.'

'Just like this, the way you are. Okay?'

'Okay, sweetie.'

'So promise me you'll never compare herself to anyone else ever again.'

'I promise.' Jane kissed her chin.

'You're everything I need.' She tightened her hold on Jane.

'Even if I can't give you a baby?' She asked so naively that made Maura's heart skip a beat.

'You can give me a child, Jane. Not in a conventional way, but hey, look at me. Do I seem to fit in social rules?'

'Not at all.' Jane said giggling.

'That's it. You said we have other options. Let's study them.'

'Yeah.' A pause. 'Are you feeling better?'

'Well... Yes.' It was true. After, finally, talking her heart out she was feeling better. 'Thank you'. She whispered. 'You've always managed to make me feel better.'

'Well. Thanks for the orgasm.' Both of them giggled.

And after a hell of a crazy day, the two of them would sleep peacefully, because if they had each other, like this, they would find peace even through war - especially the one they were about to face.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ook, so here's a new chapter, finally. I hope you like it. Thank you for the reviews. Let me know what you think about this one :)**

**x**

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Maura woke up with the sun light warming her face. She rubbed her eyes and then threw her hand to the side, in hope to find Jane's warm body there. It was in vain; she didn't find neither Jane nor the warmth she was expecting for. Confused, she looked at the clock and frowned at the red numbers.

'What? ' She said as the numbers 8:19 made fun of her. 'I can't be that late!' Her feet found the floor and she wrapped her robe around her waist. 'Jane, where are you? We are late!' She threw her hands hopelessly in the air as none answer came. She glanced at Jane's pillow, reproving her wife's attitude for not waking her up, and almost missed a white piece of paper laying on there. She grabbed the paper and read Jane's note:

_Sweetie, I thought it'd be better if we stayed home with Harriet today. I'll take the afternoon, ok?_  
_Ps: You're so beautiful sleeping, didn't have the heart to wake you up._  
_Ps2: I love you unconditionally._  
_Jane_

Maura couldn't help but smile at the small piece of paper. Of course Jane should have asked her first before making all the decisions, but deep inside Jane did it for a good cause, she was thinking about Harriet. Speaking of... Maura turned in her heels and headed out of the room. It was early and the girl was probably sleeping, but she wanted to check on her anyway. She was to tired, in some way that she didn't even wake up in the middle of the night. It surprised Maura that she...

'Harriet?' Maura stopped suddenly as she saw the empty bed. She ran her eyes throughout the room; the girl wasn't there. Maura tried to hear something, anything which indicated that the girl would be around, but the silence that came next was almost deafening. 'Harriet?' She called once more. No response.

She felt weak. Harriet was supposed to be in bed. What if she had waken up while Maura was still asleep and had left the house?

'Harriet?' She started to walk again, concern growing heavier in her chest.

_Try the kitchen._

'Harriet? Where are you?' She rushed into the living room now, her heart beating so fast she could hear it in her ears. Almost desperately she started to look for her cell phone. Maybe she should call Jane. Finding it on the kitchen counter, she unlocked it and was about to dial when she saw Joe Friday crossing the living room, coming to find her. The small dog sat on the wooden floor and now was wagging her tail patiently to her.

Joe. Maura frowned. Of course, why didn't she think about it in first place? _Bass!_ Maura felt a little spark of hope illuminating her chest. She walked around the house again, her body trembling in fear and expectation, and just as she was passing by the yoga room, she saw the little girl crouched on her knees, her back to Maura and the tortoise in front of her.

'Harriet!' She called firmly, too relieved to care about her tone, the word filling the silent air. She felt guilty right away as she saw the girl jump out of fear.

'Ah!' She gasped and shrank before turning herself to Maura.

'I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to startle you.' She lowered her voice, getting back the control that apparently she had lost before.

The girl said nothing, she only kept staring at Maura, her eyebrows raised in alert, as if waiting for a reprimand. Maura walked a few steps and smiled at the her, she wanted her to know that everything was fine.

'What are you doing? I was looking for you.'

'I'm feeding Bass.' She showed Maura a strawberry in her hand. Only now Maura noticed the bowl full of strawberries on the ground next to Harriet, her mouth and hands were dirty with red juice from the fruit. 'Jane told me to stay here and take care of you.'

Maura beamed. 'I bet she did. Are you eating this too?' She asked as she sat herself next to Harriet and pointed to the fruit.

'Is it okay?' She asked shyly.

'Of course it is.'

The girl smiled at her and bit half of the fruit, and a new wave of red water was now running down her lips.

'Did you sleep well in this pajama?' Maura put a strand of hair behind Harriet's ear.

'Mhm. Soft.' She ate the other half of the fruit and stopped to watch Maura. The blonde knew that she was wondering what was going to happen now, but that, even Maura didn't know.

She saw Harriet flinched as Bass started to walk away from them; the girl giggled, finding funny the way Bass dragged himself on the floor.  
When she returned her eyes to Maura, the blonde wondered if the sky could be as blue as that girl's eyes, the red smear on her lips contrasting them even more. She looked peaceful, as much as a kid could after going through all she had gone, or maybe she was just putting aside her feelings - that is, if she knew how to do this. Somehow, she seemed to be strong. But her eyes... They were holding pain, a kind of pain Maura knew it would take time, and patience, and nights of crying and, God knows what else, to fade away. It wasn't only a state of mind, the pain most of times felt real as if someone was crushing the heart - she had knew it. And Harriet was only a kid, a sweet kid that now was sucking her fingers covered with juice.

Maura chuckled at the sight. It was adorable, too cute to get lost in time or even in her memory. Helding up her celphone, she asked, 'Harriet, may I take a picture of you?'

'Yeah.' She said nonchalantly.

'Ok, can you give me a smile?'

A finger still in her mouth, she smiled her best smile to the blonde and seconds later her photo was displayed on Maura's cell phone.

'Look how beautiful you are.' Maura showed her the picture.

Harriet smiled then raised her eyebrows.

'Oh! Now me and you, Maura?'

'Do you want to take a picture with me?' Maura asked a little surprised, but deep inside her heart was celebrating.

'Please?'

'Come here.' She stretched out her arm and Harriet came into her embrace, sitting on her crossed legs and resting her back agaisnt her chest.

'Ready? Here we go.'

A giggle later and the picture was there.

'Lemme see it!'

Maura suspected that she wasn't on her best look, but then Harriet's words said it on the contrary.

'Oh! You're beautiful. And I'm your turtle.'

Maura chuckled and pressed a kiss on her cheek. If only it was true...

'You're a very beautiful turtle. Now let's feed you.'

'Is Jane back?' Harriet looked up at her.

'Not yet, but she'll be here by lunch. Oh! I'm going to send her our picture, what do you think?'

'Nice!' She waited patiently as Maura sent Jane the photos and typed something.

The doctor felt a little hand pressing gently on her knee, gummy fingers caressing her skin - Maura knew that Harriet was lost in thought now - tracing patterns as if a way to help her organize her mind.

'You love her.' She murmured, Maura almost missed it.

It was a simple remark, however Maura knew that it'd lead to somewhere else. She decided not to ask anything, letting the girl little free to conclude her train of thought, so she only breathed, 'Very much.'

'Do you think my mom loves me?'

There it was. The question on the present tense nearly broke Maura's heart. 'Im sure she loved you so much, Harriet.'

'Yeah? She left me.' Harriet's hurt voice came to her ears. Maura assumed that perhaps Harriet was trying to face the reality in which she found herself now. She was alone because the person she trusted and loved the most had forsaken her.

Or at least that was what the blonde understood, considering the painful tone in her voice. If that was the premature conclusion that Harriet had reached, it was wrong and even though Maura did not know Harriet's mother to make a judgment of character - she believed that keeping good memories was a healthy way to overcome grief. Getting Harriet mad at her mother wouldn't help her in the slightest way, it'd only make things worse; hatred works like a bumerangue, you throw it into the wind, and when it comes back it hits you with all its strength. And it pains you more than before. And then you want to throw it again, because you get angrier, until it become a damn circle. Maura wouldn't allow this, she would guide Harriet to the right path.

'She didn't abandon you, sweetie. I'm sure she would have stayed, if she had had the chance to choose. Some things are out of our control, you see? Like the weather. Today we have a sunny day, and even if we wanted a rainy day, well... we can't control the weather, can we?'

'No...' And she went silent for a while. Then... 'Maura... What would you do if Jane was gone?'

_I would die._ But she didn't said this. 'I...' She didn't know exactly what to say. She had read it once that people believed in life after death because it brought them solace, hoping that someday they would be able to meet their loved ones again. She truely understood this faith now, now that she had a little kid in her arms, asking her for help, for protection. It may not be true - or at least her belief - but between being wrong and making Harriet cry,she ended up choosing the uncertainty of faith.

'I would try to think that she would be in a beautiful place, happy, waiting for me. Why don't you try this?'

'Like heaven?'

'Yes, baby girl.' Maura said as, once again, big blue eyes locked with her hazel ones, and the blonde found something new inside them: a swirl of pain and, now, hope. 'Like heaven.' She pressed her lips in a kiss on Harriet's forehead to reassure her.

* * *

'And this is us. That's you, the red fish. That's Maura, the mermaid. And I'm the turtle. Bass is this turtle here, and the yellow fish is Joe.' Harriet pointed every figure to Jane. She was showing her the drawing she had been painting for the last minutes. It was an entertaining option that Maura found it would distract the girl while she had a couple of articles to go over. Staying home didn't mean nothing to do, at all. So she had driven to the nearest store she could find a coloring book to her and colored pencils. Harriet loved the idea. Mostly because some of the pages (specially the one she was showing Jane) had turtles and fishes to be colored.

'It's beautiful, Harriet. Really. Let's put it on the fridge. What do you think?'

'Cool!'

'Good thing you're going to the kitchen, Jane,' Maura said reappearing in the living room again, now all dressed up, 'maybe you feel like doing the dishes.'

Jane smirked. 'Yes, sweetie, why not? Harriet can put them away.'

'Abuse!' The girl protested, pointing with the red colored pencil to Jane, looking at Maura in utterly indignation, as if saying 'look what she's doing to me'. 'I'm a guest!'

Maura and Jane exchanged glances and started to laugh at the girl. She had a sharp mind and was usually thinking fast.

'Nice try, Harriet, but I think Maura won't buy it.'

'Actually, Jane... She's right. She _is _a guest.' Maura shrugged as she checked her matching earings.

'Yeah, yeah. Point for you, little turtle.' Jane smiled at the girl as she walked over to Maura. She wanted Maura at home with them. They had had a good time together at lunch, she wished the moment could last a little longer. It had been a light day so far, even with a lot of things to do at work, knowing that her wife was home with the kid gave her some peace. Yesterday had been a tough day; they had been emotionally drained and at the end of the day there was nothing left but pure exhaustion. But today was a new day, and even Harriet seemed a little more comfortable, willing to talk. Jane was all smiles when she received Maura's text with their pictures: Harriet's picture, by itself, made an unconscious smile arise on her face, and the next photo, the one Maura was holding the girl, made Jane fall in love even more with the blonde. She had just woken up but looked so beautiful.

'So, do you want me to water your roses as well?' Jane asked sarcastically as she passed her arms around Maura's waist, but of course the blonde would miss it.

'Don't you dare. You've always over watered them.'

'It was _only once_, Maura!' Jane defended herself.

'You absolutely don't know how to take care of flowers, Jane.' Maura giggled as Jane pouted.

'At least I'm able to take care of you.' She shrugged nonchantaly.

'That you know how to do very well.' Maura gave her a peck. 'I have to go now.' She looked from Harriet - that was again painting - to Jane. 'Are you two going to be okay?'

'Mhm. Don't worry.'

'Well, if she needs anything...'

'Maura,' Jane cut her off, 'we are going to be okay, I promise.'

Maura knew Jane was willing to do this for her. Even if she hadn't agreed on this at first, it became their battle. She had volunteered to take care of Harriet knowing that Maura could do this by herself; the blonde could take a short vacation if she wanted to, yet Jane had organized their schedules so both of them was going to work _and _spend time with the girl. They were doing it together. Just like anything else. In spite of any attempt Harriet's words crossed Maura's mind again. _What would you do if Jane was gone? _She honestly had no idea. Their life had become one, and it was so intense it looked like Maura had never been alone before. She didn't quite remember what was like living without Jane by her side. For the second time in this day, she feared it.

To Jane, the blonde seemed a little insecure staring Harriet's little frame. 'Maur...'

'I love you. So much. Don't ever leave me.' She said it out of the blue.

'I'm not planning on.' Jane's giggle faded in the air as Maura smiled timidly at her, lowering her head.

'What's happening, Maur?'

'It's nothing. But promise me?' Green eyes stared expectantly at her.

'I do promise you.'

Maura smiled satisfied and gave her a slow kiss. 'I'll be back by six.'

'I'll be here waiting for you.' Jane said as she let go of her wife. Maura walked to the door and opened it, but before she had a chance to left Jane called her again. 'And Maur? I love you too.'

* * *

'Okay,' Jane said spinning the orange ball between her hands, 'I'll go first.' She positioned herself, aimed the ball to the hoop basket and with a graceful movement casted it right into the hoop. 'Yeah!' She lifted her arms, celebrating. 'It's your turn now, Turtle.' She grabbed the ball that was boucing in her direction and threw it to Harriet.

The girl held the ball with both hands. It was too big for her, and Jane wondered if she would be able to throw it upward. She watched closely her first try which was a completely failure as the ball, halfway to the hoop, started to fall towards the ground.

Harriet looked at Jane and shrugged. 'I'm too short.' She said naturally.

'Indeed. I think you might need some help. Come over here.' The girl walked over to her and, once she was close enough, Jane grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up, making her squealed in pleasure, and put her on her shoulders. 'Have a better view from there?'

'You bet!' She said all excited. She had never been put on someone's shoulders before. She felt giant.

'Great. So grab this ball and make a shot, okay?' Jane pass her the basketball.

'No promises.'

'Just try.'

And she did, but for the second time the ball didn't reach its destination. Harriet rested her hands on her knees and sighed. 'I think I'm not as good as you are.'

'Oh c'mon, you just have to practice. Let's try a few more times.' Once again, she handed the ball to the girl. Jane walked forward to get closer to the hoop, and as she stopped Harriet threw the ball upward... and she got it right into the hoop this time.

'YES!' They both screamed in joy.

'That's it, Turtle, I knew you could do it!' She threw her hands into the air and Harriet high-fived them.

'Wanna do it again! Can I, please?'

'Hell yeah! You can!' Jane frowned and raised her head to look up at her. 'Just don't tell Maura I said that first word.'

'Got it.' She giggled.

They spent over an hour throwing the ball to the hoop, Jane was having a good time with the kid - she was looking forward to when TJ was big enough to play basketball with her. It had always been a thing she had wanted to do - share this traditional thing she had with her brothers with her kids, nieces and nephews. Specially with her kids. If Frankie were on his day off, she would've definitely called him over, he would've loved it. It had been a long time since she and him hadn't played like that, and with Frankie out of practice, Jane and Harriet would've kicked his ass. The thought made her giggle. She would've had a blast teasing him about losing for one and a half woman.

Harriet was getting really good at it, but when her arms started to feel numb - because she refused to give up when they started to hurt - she told Jane she had had enough practice for the day. The brunette placed her onto the ground and pleased by the game, she rested the ball on a chair nearby and held Harriet's hand.

'That was really great. How about a snack now? I'm starving.'

'Me too!'

So they left the backyard and headed inside. Jane would've never let the kid all the time indoor, just coloring and watching tv. Maybe Maura approved such thing as art and creativity, but in Jane's opinion Harriet had to learn at least one kind of sport. And it is not like Maura would notice the broken vase right away, after all Jane had put the pieces together again and placed it surreptitiously behind a larger one. Oh, yeah. Right, Rizzoli!. It will be the first thing she will notice when she put her foot in the yard. She wrinkled up her nose at the thought. Well, she could always put the blame on Joe Friday.

She made sandwiches for both of them and they sat on the sofa - she made a mental note that after eating their snacks she had to clean the furniture - and Harriet chose a random cartoon. Until the end of the afternoon things had been uneventful. When the clock pointed six o'clock, Jane asked Harriet to shower and get dressed for when Maura got home, and thirty minutes later and a lot of 'Harriet, don't waste all our water!' the girl finaly manage to put her turtle pijama, but she had the buttons closed by Jane - she couldn't do it herself because apparently 'the holes run away from me!'. Tired, Jane and Harriet sank into the sofa and stared at the tv without really watching it.

* * *

'Jane?' Maura called as he walked into the hall, switching the light on. She noticed the TV on and frowned in concentration. Why had Jane left the TV on if she wasn't in the room watching it? Sighing, she put her purse gently on the hall table and took off her shoes off - maybe she should listen to Jane and start to use flat shoes on long days like this. Her bare feet touched the wooden floor as she started to walk over to the sofá. Only a few feet away, the scene before her eyes embraced her heart in a soft and comfortable way.

The detective was lying there, one hand under her head, one arm around Harriet's little body. The girl was lying face down on Jane's stomach, the hood on her head, but Maura could see the girl's fingers in her mouth, half of her face hidden by Jane's chest. Her little feet were covered by the pijamas, one dropped out of the couch and the other one on Jane's side. They seemed to Maura extremely confortable, tempting, and she wished that there was some space there for her as well. Deciding that, since she was the one left behind, it was quite fair that she had at least something to her. She grabbed her cellphone out of her pocket and took a picture. Yes, it was cute, and sure she could use it as blackmail against Jane. After studying the view one more time, she laughed at how a little girl could get Jane tired like this. She leaned in and kissed the detective's forehead.

'Jay?' She called her in a whisper, now sliding her thumb over the woman's hairline. The brunette frowned slightly and she tried again. 'Jane?'

Slowly, Jane came back to herself, and sleepy tried to understand the situation. She didn't remember drifting off, let alone settling Harriet over her chest. Maybe she was getting old. 'Hey.' She muttered, glancing at Maura without moving an inch.

'What did you do?' Maura asked amused.

'We... Hm... Played basketball?' She murmured.

'I hope that all of my vases are intact.' She warned before placing her lips on Jane's.

'As they should, ma'am.' Jane said innocently, praying that Maura wouldn't go check them.

The blonde smiled. 'We'd better wake her up, Jane, otherwise she won't sleep at night.' She said rubbing Harriet's back.

'Oh, c'mon, Maur!' Let the girl sleep.' She put her arms protectively around Harriet.

'Ok, but you are the one to wake up at the middle of the night.' She suggestively arched an eyebrow.

'Turtle?' Jane called her immediately, the little girl contracted herself and hid her face into Jane's neck, murmuring something unintelligible.

'Harriet, it's time to wake up.' Maura tried as well.

'Nooooo.' The girl complained and tightened her arms around Jane's waist. The brunette held her back and sat on the sofa. Right away thin legs wrapped around her waist and arms around her neck. 'Ok, little turtle, dinner time.' The kid didn't say a word, just kept her head resting on Jane's shoulder, her face buried in her neck.

'Alright, I'll prepare the dishes. Angela said she froze gnocchi.'

'So you're not preparing, you're just reheating it.' Jane provoked.

'Well, I don't feel like cooking today.' Maura defended herself.

'And I... didn't feel like doing the dishes!' Jane snapped when Maura turned her head to her, an unbelievable look on her face as pointed out all the dirty dishes there, still lying on the sink.

She shook her head and sighed in disapproval.

'Ok. I help you with the food. Better?' She said and tried to free herself from Harriet's embrace. The girl grumbled and tightened herself even more against Jane. 'Ahn... Maura?' She lifted her arms, the kid was there, clutching her. 'I think we have a sloth now as well.

Maura turned to Jane and giggled. 'Harriet, sweetheart, we can't turn this house into a zoo.' She held Harriet's body and tried to pull her, but protests of 'no, no, no!' made her back off.

Jane casted an apologetic look at her. She waved it off and offered to prepare dinner by herself because, really, how hard it'd be to heat some food? Excited, she set the table and served the food, and when everything was ready - millimetrically organized - she called for Jane and Harriet. By that time the girl had let go of Jane and sleepy walked over to the table, where she sat herself without paying attention on anything. She murmured something and pouted.

'What is it, Harriet?' Jane asked.

'I don't want.' She grumbled.

'What is it that you don't want?'

'Food.'

Jane arched an eyebrow to Maura. 'Maybe you shouldn't have woken her up.'

Maura bent her head to a side, knowing better than to argue with Jane. 'Harriet, honey, eat just a little and you can go back to sleep.' She insisted.

Harriet was just grumpy now, and she grabbed the fork and ate less than expected. Lesson learned: never wake up a kid after an exhausting day. She left the table with no words and vanished into the hallway. After a couple of minutes she was back smiling. No. She was showing Jane and Maura her teeth, as though she was saying 'you can check, they are clean'. The detective nodded her head at her then stared blankly at her plate. That girl did have a strong personality, just as herself.

'Jane?' The girl voice sounded through the living room, coming to find her ears.

'Yeah, turtle?'

'Can you come back here to be my pillow again?' She patted her little hand on the sofa, her eyes small out of sleep.

How come kids could be so irritating and cute at the same time? How would Jane deny her request? That wasn't possible. She smiled proud of herself and casted a glance at Maura, then to the girl. 'Of course, I can.' She stoop up and before going to the couch she kissed Maura's cheek.

'Why don't you join us?'

The blonde smiled at the invitation e agreed with her head, asking for just a momento so she could finish with the dishes. At the end of the night the three of them were there on the sofa: Harriet over Jane's chest again, her pillow; the detective had her head on Maura's lap, her eyes growing heavier as the doctor stroked her hair; and Maura, sitting at the end of the sofa, watching Jane as Jane watched TV, feeling Harriet's hand holding tightly on the hem of her blouse, closing the conection between them. The blonde sighed heavily. It could be always like this, one taking care of each other.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I hope that this chapter does not kill you. **

* * *

'Mommy?'

The voice came from somewhere in the darkness, breaking into her dreams. Maura rolled over to a side and landed her hand on something soft that might be Jane's belly.

'Mommy!'

The voice came louder this time and she wasn't dreaming. Jane's body also shifted as she sat herself on the bed. A low crying floated through the air, hitting her ears and shaking her totally awake. She immediately jumped out of bed. Harriet. The whole house was submerged into intense darkness and the girl had probably woken up for whatever reason and now was feeling disoriented. Maura passed by the doorway and being familiar with the direction she should take in the darkness, she didn't bother to light up the hallway.

'Harriet?' She called without hesitation, but keeping her voice low.

'Mommy?'

The doctor's stomach twisted painfully. Harriet's little frame was standing by the door, sobbing in her crying. She had her legs crossed and a hand pressed against the door frame.

'Hey, it's okay.' Maura tried to calm her down, but as soon as she heard Maura's voice she cried for 'mommy' again, and now sounded more like a plea.

The blonde rushed to her, her heart beating faster by witnessing such vulnerability. She tried to reach the girl with her arms, but as she stretched them out Harriet stepped out of her reach. 'It's alright, Harriet. It's me, Maura.'

'Mommy!' She demanded. It wasn't Maura the one she wanted.

The blonde felt disappointed. What was she expecting for, after all? Harriet was not calling for her, but her mother. And Maura wasn't her mother. She tried to find a solution while the girl was sniffling and wiping away her tearful face. She crouched down on her knees.

'Harriet, may I help you?' She asked carefully and felt a sting of pain as the girl shook her head no and muttered 'mommy' again in a childish way.

'Your mother is not here, honey.' She said, and although the words came out in a soft voice they were still something hard to be listened. What hurt the most was the truth about them. Harriet's mother wasn't there anymore, and Maura couldn't let the little girl there, alone, waiting for a mother that would no longer come to rescue her from her fears. 'Why don't you let me help you instead? Maybe I can...' She watched closely as the girl seemed to fight an inner battle and waited patiently for a reply. The answer came as she nodded her head.

Maura wrapped her arms around the little kid and lifted her up as if she were a baby. Harriet put up no resistance to being taken, instead she threw her arms around the blonde's neck and let herself sink into her kind arms. 'Dark. Bathroom.' She tightened her arms around Maura. 'I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.' And it was only when Maura felt her damp pajamas did she understand what had happened.

'Sweetheart, it's ok.' Maura reassured her. She walked into the room, switching the light on as Herriet burried her face into her neck, ashamed. 'Do you want to tell me what happened?' She said as she entered the bathroom and held Harriet with only one arm.

'This is not my room.' She murmured, a hand in her mouth now. 'I-I wanted to pee and I didn't know...' She sniffled, her sentence trailing off.

Maura had already understood, it was normal, after all. It was Harriet's second night there, and it was understandable that she felt disoriented during the night, in a house she barely knew, in a bedroom that was certainly not like hers.

'Oh, Harriet, I'm so sorry. I should've left the light on.' She said as she put the girl onto the floor. She started to unfasten the buttons of her pajamas.

The girl didn't say anything else, her eyes was staring the floor under her feet. She was embarrassed.

'It happens with everyone.' Maura offered, trying to make her feel better.

Harriet snapped her eyes at her. 'You pee in your bed too?'

Maura couldn't help but giggle at Harriet's innocence. 'No, I'm a grown-up, see? But I can assure you that when I was a kid... Well, accidents happen all the time.' She shrugged, still smiling.

'Oh.' She raised her eyebrows, apparently feeling better. 'I didn't wet the bed.' She stated shrugging, as though she had one more advantage than Maura.

'Great! See? There's nothing to worry about. Let's clean you and choose new pajamas.' She switched the hand held shower on and ran water on Harriet's body.

'Don't tell anyone?' She asked timidly and Maura had to resist the urge to kiss her pinky cheeks.

'I promise I won't tell.' She turned off the water, stoop up and grabbed the towel next to her, then she wrapped it around the little girl and scooped her up. 'Ready?'

'Ready.'

'Here we go.' Maura carried her back to the bedroom and put her on the bed. 'While you dry off I'm going to put your pajamas in the washer.'

Harriet nodded and started drying herself off. It was difficult standing on only one foot on the bed, and she had to balance herself to dry properly her legs without falling. After the hard work, she put the red towel over her head and held it under her chin as she waited for Maura. As the blonde entered the room again, she said, 'Hey, Maura, I'm little red riding hood.' She pointed her finger to the improvised hood.

Maura's shoulders shook with her laughter, then she held the towel with both hands, below Harriet's ones, leaned in and kissed her forehead. 'Well, the ride is over, little girl. Time to go back to sleep.' The blonde helped her put on the panties. She opened the top drawer of the dresser, looking for some clothing Harriet could use for that night. The girl leaned closer to peek into the drawer.

'I want that one! She exclaimed a little too much excited for one who was crying just minutes ago. 'I want the white and red one!'

Maura frowned and pulled out the piece of clothing. 'This?' Harriet nodded her head enthusiastically. 'Harriet, that's Jane's. It'd be loose on you.' Maura unfolded the long sleeve T-shirt to proove her point.

'Can I, please?' And those big blue puppy eyes disarmed Maura right away.

She shrugged. 'If you insist.' She helped the girl to get into the T-shirt and when she finished, she stepped back to study her.

The red sleeves covered beyond Harriet's arms, and the white hem fell down above her knees. In the front part it read 'Boston Homicide' in a circle, a gun in the middle. It was a worn out T-shirt that Jane insisted on wearing it at home. Maura watched as Harriet pulled her hair out the clothing, the hair cascading down her shoulders, the dark color contrasting against the red one. Her blue eyes was expecting something of her now. An unpretentious thought occured to Maura: that could be her little girl, judging by the way Jane's clothes fitted her so well. It'd almost be an insult denying how much they were look-alike. But then she blinked the thoughts away, because it was as easy to come up with something like this as it was fragile: it worked only in her mind.

'How do I look?' Harriet asked her, dropping the arms beside her body.

'You're... beautiful.' Maura smiled at her. 'Now you'd better go back to sleep.' She held the duvet to tuck her in but Harriet held her arm.

'Can I... Can I go with you?' There they were, those big blue eyes again. How could Maura withstand them?' She hesitated.

'Harriet... You're a big...'

'Please.' The girl almost begged, her hands pressing lightly Maura's arm.

'Honey, what if I stay...' Maura trailed off because she had to focus all her attention at the next gestures: Harriet had jumped into her arms and now was tightining her little arms and legs around her.

'I've got you! Won't let you go!' She all but yelled.

Great time to play games, Maura thought, calculating how much time of sleeping she had already lost.

'Pretty please, Maur. I don't want to be alone.'

Maur. The nickname Jane had given her. That was a low blow. She knew the girl liked her, and she was being honest and asking with all heart. The loneliness after loosing her mother was real, painful, even scaring. The blonde locked her eyes with Harriet's and raised her eyebrows.

'Well, since I don't have much of a choice.' She shook her head as Harriet giggled, her eyes small because of the crying and sleep. Happy with her little victory, she rested her head on Maura's shoulder and went quiet. Maura turned off the bedroom light and walked back to hers, lying carefully into her bed not to wake up Jane. The little girl shifted herself by her side, the light head still on her shoulder, a leg on her belly and a arm thrown around her neck. A little hand holding a lock of hair, fingers lazily curling her hair in spiral, then letting go of it, only to restart the process.

Maura bent her head and smelled the slight perfume coming from the girl - Jane's shampoo, she realized. It was torturing how some aspects kept stabbing her heart. Within thirty hours or so she would have to say goodbye to this girl that was nestled in her arms; say goodbye to the drawings of fishes and turtles, which one marked with a little beautiful letter above, H or M, or J, designating in which illustration who they were; say goodbye to the basketball games, the incoherent yet so beautiful theories. Maura breathed heavily, she didn't want to cry. Little fingers were no longer moving so she was sure Harriet had drifted off.

She decided on closing her eyes and meditate, but all her thoughts went to another level. Who was the family Harriet was going to? Would they take good care of her? Would she be fine? Would someone let the light on during the night? Jane had warned me, she thought. Now it wasn't the time, literally, to be whining. It wasn't time to lament something she was quite aware would happen. She should've been careful. Jane was right when she'd told her that the moment she got involved she would never stop wondering about the girl. As she thought about Harriet's departure, she saw - felt - a wound burning in her heart. And they never heal. If only she could find another solution...

_And they never heal. _Dammit, Jane was completely right! She liked that girl so much she would never let go of her. Everyday thoughts of any kind would taunt her. If she knew that the girl was going to stay with a good family... Still, her chances of controlling it... Jane had said this too, hadn't she?

Annoyed, she closed her eyes and obliged every thought to go away. No more pain today.

She startled as Harriet retracted unintentionally, probably dreaming. Maura stroked her back until she felt her breath even again, focusing her attention on the girl, accepting all that darkness around her - thanks God. Sometimes the best moment to pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist was in the middle of the night.

Wene Harriet sighed in her shoulder, she planted a kiss on her hair. The girl had gone back to sleep, her little body weighing against Maura's, and the doctor decided that it was her time to go back to sleep.

'Good night, little turtle.' She whispered and finally closed her eyes, at the same moment Harriet murmured 'mommy', lost in her dreams.

* * *

Jane stretched her arms as she walked into the kitchen. She almost ran into the wall because her eyes were still closed, but luck had spared her the collision, saving a curse to another ocasion. Maura was still sleeping. The brunette didn't want to wake her up now because she knew Maura would stay home in the morning taking care of Harriet again. She also knew that the blonde had woken up in the middle of the night, and judging by the way she was nestled in bed - hands under her face, hair scattered on the pillow, legs pressed together and knees to her chest - Jane knew that her wife needed another hour or two of sleep.

When she finally opened her eyes, she almost yelled at Harriet getting up on her feet, holding a leaf that she imagined to be lettuce to Bass. What made the scream died in her throat was the way Harriet bent her head to a side, the way her hair fell down over the red sleeves of a T-shirt that was... hers. She immediately smiled before the view. It was cute, absolutely cute. Utterly graceful how the T-shirt went up to her knees; the way the sleeves were clumsily pulled up; the way that sweet smile crossed her delicate face.

'Hey, good morning.' Jane said, her eyes still on Harriet.

'Morning.' She smiled brightly. 'Lettuce?' She held up her hand to Jane.

'No, thanks. I believe that's for Bass?' She guessed.

'Mhm.'

'Well, so I have to turn down, then. I don't want Maura's turtle starving.'

'Tortoise.' She corrected her.

'Whatever, _Maura._' She teased.

Harriet giggled, delighted. As the detective didn't say anything else - instead she kept on staring at her clothing - the girl pointed a finger to her own chest and said, 'It's yours.'

'Yes, indeed.'

'I borrowed it. It's nice, I like it. What you think?'

'It's great. What happened to your pajamas?'

She suddenly seemed shy and looked at her feet, but soon she had an answer.

'I had an accident.' She waved her hand as if dismissing the matter.

'I see. Well, you can keep it. The T-shirt, I mean. It fits you.'

'Really?' Blue eyes were shining at her, and Jane felt as happy as the girl.

'Really, it's all yours.'

'Thanks!' She smiled even more and bounced a few steps. 'Gonna feed Bass, ok?'

'Okay.'

She started trotting again and before passing by Jane she turned herself and grabbed the brunette's legs, holding them tightly for a couple of seconds. Then she let go of her as if nothing had happened and headed out of the kitchen. Minutes later Jane listened to footsteps coming towards her, and she was about to make a joke on turtles and lettuce when she saw Maura entering the room, Harriet close behind her.

'Jane, can you change her clothes?' She said in hurry, skipping even the 'good morning' part.

'Why? I thought you'd stay home.' Jane frowned.

'Susie called me, someone made a mistake. Or two, maybe more!' She threw her hands in the air, annoyed. 'And now I have to go to the lab.'

Jane let the information sink in, then... 'Turtle, you're going to work.' She cast a teasing glance at Harriet.

'I don't wanna go to work.' She was decided.

'You're wearing my work clothes, so you are going to work.' The brunette teased again.

'Jane, can you please change her?' Maura asked again as she took the coffee out of her hands.

'I'm not going to work!' Harriet protested again, now looking quite pissed off, slapping her hands on the kitchen counter.

'Harriet, you're not going to work because you are just a child! Children are protected by laws, they cannot work!' Maura said matter of factly.

'Well, they, at least, are not suppose to.' Jane provoked again. 'Maybe I'll put you in front of the building to sell flowers.' She smiled wickedly.

Harriet gasped. 'No! Abuse!' The girl looked at Maura asking for help.

'Sweetie, she's just kidding. She wouldn't do that to you.'

Harriet smiled satisfied and arched her eyebrows at Jane, defying her. The detective snorted trying to hide the smile threatening to escape from her lips which completely vanished as her eyes found Maura's.

'I know, I know... Let's go, Turtle.'

* * *

'Vanilla!' The 'a' at the end sounded longer that Jane would like to hear. She squeezed her eyes and, turning herself, forced a smile.

'Rondo. What's up?'

'What a cute baby you have there!' The man pointed at Harriet that now had her eye wide open, staring at the man she didn't know yet, trying to decide if she could trust him or not. 'I didn't know you had a daughter! What's your name, little Vanilla?'

'What?' Jane snorted. 'No!' She is not my daughter. She is... Harriet.' She breathed her name, because she didn't dare to say that the little girl was just a case she was working on. Clearly, she was more than that.

'Got it. She's beautiful, Vanilla. And Dr. Isles! It's been awhile.' He bent his body down, ceremoniously.

'Hello, Rondo. How are you?' She smiled politely.

'I'm just fine, my lady.'

Maura giggled.

'Vanilla, I'd love to stay and talk, but you know, I've got some work to do.' And he blinked an eye at Jane.

She rolled hers. Jane could only imagine what kind of thing he was getting into. Waving his hands he walked away from them.

* * *

'Are you sure, Angela? I do not want to impose anything. ' Maura asked apprehensively.

'Oh, Maura! I'd love to take care of her. Don't worry. Besides, everyone here already knows her, it will not be a problem.'

'Thank you. I ... I will finish everything I have to do.' She was stressed. They had lost a considerable amount of time on those previous tests, and now with everything messed, they would lose twice of that time. It was a long process and she was being pressed. 'You call if you need anything. Or you just can send her to my office.'

'Maura, I've got her, dear. We'll be fine. Okay? Just go do your thing.' Angela smiled gently at her. Maura seemed on the verge of a breakdown.

It wasn't a secret that Dr. Isles did not like mistakes, and Jane, that now watched as Maura rushed to the elevators, repressed a joke about giving her a tranquilizer, but she knew better than to tease her already disturbed state of mind.

'Harriet.' She tried to add something to the girl before leaving, maybe a warning of what she shouldn't do, but the girl was too smart for that. 'Just... stay around, okay?'

'Okay.'

* * *

'Oh, no. C'mon! Really?' Jane slapped the computer monitor and Frost cast a furtive glance at her.

'Jane...?' He asked carefully.

'Shit. No match on this case? Really? Where are the samples I asked Maura to run yesterday?'

'They're all ruined. Didn't you know?'

'Shit!' Suddenly she was feeling extremely irritated. She had no idea that those tests were 'her' tests. What was going on with this day?

'Why don't you go down to the morgue, Jane? Ask Maura how things are going so far. Maybe...'

'Maybe she cut off my head? No, thank you.' She replied sarcastically. 'Where's Korsak? That old man told me he'd be here before lunch.'

'Jane, you're too grumpy, really.' He stated, forgetting that the remark could cost him... some parts.

'Mind your own business.' She muttered and buried her head into her hands.

* * *

'Harriet, be careful...' Too late. The little statue had fallen onto the ground, but miraculously hadn't broken into pieces.

'I'm sorry.' The girl grabbed it and put it on its place again.

Since the Cafe was full of people now - it was lunch time - Angela had sent the girl to Maura's office. The elderly woman couldn't serve and take care of her at the same time. Now Harriet was there, making drawings while the doctor studied the tests results, trying to understand what went wrong.

'What are you drawing, sweetheart?' Maura asked, not really looking at the girl.

'Yesterday.'

Maura frowned, too busy working on the papers she just assumed the girl was talking about some activity they had done together the day before. She focused back on the numbers and toxins and left the girl alone.

* * *

'Where's Jane?' The blonde asked Angela. The italian now could give the attention she needed.

'She's not here. It looks like she's out with Korsak, interrogating someone. I'm not sure.'

Maura unconsciously tightened her grip on Harriet's hand. She worried every time Jane was out to do this kind of thing. Something unexpected and dangerous might happen. Last time it turned out to be a bomb, Jane was lucky enough that it had blown up before she had reached her destination.

'Did you find anything yet, on...' Angela gave a quick glance at Harriet and Maura knew she meant her mother's case.

'Nothing that I know of.' Maura breathed.

'I want this one!' The girl smiled at her.

'It's yours, sweetheart.' Angela handed her the cupcake.

'Thank. You.' She said the two words emphatically, the same way as Jane did sometimes, and Maura couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Home. Home. Home.

It was everything Jane could think of at that point of the day. After having broken into a house - dammit, her shoulder was hurting badly now - she had ran after a drug dealer, only to figure out that he had nothing to do with the homicide. Then, on her way back to the headquarters she figured out that she would have to park her car two blocks away, because some idiot had taken her spot at the parking lot - which was completely full now. To top it off, she was caught by a downpour a block away from the station.

Korsak didn't seem to mind the rain. Actually, he seemed to be too happy to her. Who cares if he had a new dog? Screw it. Jane kicked the puddle as she cursed. Screw this shitty day. She pushed the doors with both hands, heading towards the elevator without looking to the sides. She punched the buttons repeatedly, until the doors finally open and she crashed inside.

Maybe Maura could give her a good news.

She hoped so. Please.

* * *

'Susie, where's Maura?' She asked as she entered the doctor's office. Susie looked at her as if she prefered not to answer the question. Instead of speaking, she just pointed out to the bathroom door.

Jane rolled her eyes and made an I-can't-read-your-mind face. The smaller doctor showed her the folder with some results inside it to her.

'They're all wrong again. You see, they labeled the samples all wrong this time, I guess. I really don't know who did this, but I'll make sure I'll be the one to make all the procedure again.' She sighed exasperated.

'Oh no...' Jane sighed too.

'Dr. Isles has been trying to find if either it's a system error or if someone has contaminated the samples at the time they were collected.'

'Shit.' Jane murmured. 'Let me... I'll deal with her, ok, Susie?'

'Ok, Detective Rizzoli.'

Jane waved the formality off. A minute later Susie was gone and Maura was coming out of the bathroom, looking miserable. The brunette knew she had hit the breaking point.

'You threw up, didn't you?' She made a face as Maura nodded her head and rubbed small circles on her temples.

'Maur, c'mon. It's not your fault if someone's been screwing the tests. Would you calm down?'

'Jane, I...' She stopped talking as a new wave of nausea hit her. Her wife was right, there wasn't any reason to be so nervous like this. Well, _there was_ a reason, but she had to put herself together. Order. She desperately needed order at her workplace again. She would ask Susie to run other tests, it would take at least eight hours to be ready, but it was the best decision she could make. Right. She breathed in and out, slowly. 'I think I need to go home.'

'Well, that makes two of us.' Jane said and hugged her. Public affection it wasn't really their thing, but the day had been hard on them, and each other's presence, touches, brought them some kind of relief.

* * *

Harriet was crying out loud in the cafeteria, Maura and Jane found out as soons as the elevator doors opened up. First they heard the crying, and following the sound they found the girl kneeling on the ground, her mouth open in a pure expression of pain. Jane headed towards her and stared at each cop around them. Whoever had done this to the girl, would pay for it. Maura was close behind her, her face worried.

'what happened here?' The detective asked to two cops standing near the girl.

'No-nothing. I mean...' The younger said, almost running for his life.

'It's just...' The second added, not really finishing the sentence.

'What?' She pushed them.

'I think it's the TV...' The younger cop shrugged. 'Nobody knows for sure. She just started crying.'

Maura was now crouched by the girl's side, trying to comfort her somehow, but between gasps and incomprehensible mumbling the only clear word the girl had been saying was 'mommy' as she pointed to the TV that had on a random cartoon. The girl pointed to the electronic again, but this time Maura took her in her arms, and all the loud crying had been reduced to its half, since the little girl had buried her face into her neck.

'I think she's just tired.' Jane stated, apologizing to the men. They nodded their head in agreement before stepping away from them. Angela appeared on Jane's left side, a glass of water in hands.

'Thanks God! No one knew what to do anymore! She started crying and...'

'It's ok, Ma, I've got this.'

'Well, I've got water, maybe she...' But when Angela touched the girl's back, she screamed in protest and firmly held Maura.

Home. They definitely needed to go home.

* * *

The drive back hadn't been one of the best. Traffic was ridiculously slow, the streets were all jammed. Maura rode in the back of the car with Harriet in her arms, that now was sleeping, since the kid wouldn't let go of her. Jane drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

This day had considerably began well, but now she had this feeling that she was walking through chaos. Her head was heavy and she really, really, wanted a beer. Yeah, she also wanted to watch a silly cartoon with Harriet, only to have the little girl's head over her thigh so Harriet could claim her as her pillow, again. She wanted Maura to join them, the familiar scent of her sweet perfume would clear her mind, calm her senses, bring her peace. A peaceful night was the only thing she was begging for. She hoped that after a long and stressful day, being home would mean getting rid of that torment.

She felt the familiar feeling of getting home. It was as if she could breath new air. She got out of the car and helped Maura, holding carefully the child as the blonde passed her to Jane. The girl had her head resting on Jane's shoulder, now she was awake, although still a little sleepy. The detective shivered as Maura pressed a light kiss agaisnt her neck while opening the door.

Home.

She needed to be home; she breathed in the air and silently thanked for the current moment.

'Is it okay if I take a shower first?' She asked to Maura as she passed the girl again to her.

'Yes, go.' She nodded her head. 'I need some air.'

The brunette shook her head in understanding. Both of them needed to relax. Maura grabbed the comforter over the sofa and headed out to the backyard, then sat herself with Harriet on her lap. It was cold, so she wrapped the comforter around them, nestling the girl in her arms. She leaned her head backwards and closed her eyes. The cold air hit her face, but she didn't mind. She needed the air, the quietness - as much as she could get, living in a city like Boston, anyway.

It was only when Harriet shifted herself that she opened her eyes again.

'Are you feeling better?' The blonde asked quietly. The little head moved slightly.

'Yeah.'

'Well...' She kissed Harriet's head. 'What happened?' Maura tried, even though she was afraid that the girl would close herself again.

'I like you.' She offered and to Maura it seemed a random statement.

'And I like you, honey.' Maura felt like holding her tighter. She did.

'Do I... have to leave?' She whispered the question, as if fearing Maura's answer.

'Well... Yes.' Maura stated. Although it hurt her, honesty was always the best option.

The girl sighed. She looked up at Maura, studying her features. 'I like you.' She said again. 'And my mother liked me too.'

Maura shook slightly her head as she followed the girl's train of thought. Both of them liked someone; Harriet's mother had been taken away from her, and now the child knew that, even though she liked Maura so much, she had to leave too. Her stomach twisted in a painfully. Maura was trembling now and the cold had nothing to do with it. It was wonderful and awfully painful how Harriet was elaborating her situation. Maura caressed the girl's back in order to hide the tremor in her hands.

'Today?' The kid asked, uncertain.

'No, Harriet. Tomorrow.' Maura murmured, feeling her a lump forming in her throat. It was suffocating, every word hurt.

'Oh.' She said so low Maura almost missed it.

'You're going to have a new family.' Maura offered in a poor attempt to calm her own heart that was beating hard against her chest, in protest.

'I like Jane too.' Harriet whispered.

'You might want to tell her that, since she likes you as well.' Maura said gently.

'Yeah, she gave me her T-shirt. Maybe I can give her my pajamas, if she likes it.'

Maura bit her lower lip in order not to let anything escape: neither crying, sob, not even air.

'Oh! A firefly!' The girl pointed out to the bug, all excited, forgetting momentarily about the matter. 'Look, Maura!'

'Oh. It's unusual for this season.' The blonde said as she saw the bug light up.

'Why do you think they shine?'

'Light production in fireflies is due to a type of chemical reaction called bioluminescence.' She said matter-of-factly, wikipedia mode on. 'It's a process that occurs within their bodies which produces light through chemical reactions.'

'Ah.' She murmured frowning, looking at Maura as though looking at an overly complicated manual, impossible to be understood. She held her index finger up to the sky and said as if her conclusion was way more acceptable and obvious than Maura's. 'I think that's because they eat stars.'

After listening to the girl, Maura found herself on the verge of tears. She was extremely sensitive today, and the prospect of Harriet leaving the next day wasn't helping it, at all - maybe this was even the reason of such vulnerability.

'That's...' So you, Harriet. 'Makes more sense, indeed.' She said as ran her hands over the girl's back.

'And then when the firefly dies, the stars come back home?' She asked, unsure.

'Possibly?' Maura replied, sounding uncertain.

Harriet shook her head yes, and thoughtfully looked at Maura. Then she bit her lip and landed her little hands on her shoulder.

'Maura, after I leave... Can I come back here sometimes?'

The question hit Maura, taking her breath away. She simply wrapped her arms around the girl and held her close, a subtle gesture to, mostly, hide the tears that were now streaming down her face. 'Of course you can.' She answered in a voice she hoped was firm enough. When arms enveloped her waist, the doctor was sure she wouldn't know how to deal with Harriet's departure. Did the child know what was going to happen? Did she know that it wasn't just like a sleepover, a short vacation that she would take and then would come back home when she decided to? Would she be okay without Maura and Jane? And... Would Jane a Maura be okay without her?

Maura wiped away her face and got up on her feet, bringing the girl with her. Another moment there and she would start crying. Uncontrollably. Lucky her, as she entered the house Jane appeared downstairs, looking refreshed after the shower.

Maura placed Harriet in her arms and watched as Jane's smile fell flat. The doctor tried to be fast enough, turning in her heels to avoid being questioned, she wasn't in the mood. But Jane's reflex was faster and she grabbed the blonde's arm.

'What is it, Maura?' Her husky voice was carrying concern.

'No.' The woman whispered as she got rid of Jane's hand, before heading to the stairs.

'Maura.' Jane called her again, but it was the bell ring that froze them both.

Who could possibly be at that time? They weren't expecting for anyone. Jane had already put Harriet on the couch and headed to the door. When Harriet's sharp voice shouted 'no', Maura turned herself to found a familiar figure standing at the door. She felt weak at the knees.

Not tonight.

Please, don't.

* * *

'We had agreed on three days.' Jane said trying to sound steady, but who was she trying to fool? Her voice sounded desperate even for herself. 'That would be tomorrow!'

'Jane, you have to understand that I've finally found a good family for her. They are good people, live in a safe neighborhood, financially stable. They have been foster parents for a while now, I trust them. They want to settle the girl now, and it's the least I can do for them.'

Maura was taken aback. She was trying so hard to think, but her brain was failing her. Tomorrow, it was what they had said. This day was completely wrong. What had happened? If she were still a child, she would think she had stepped on a crack, committed any superstitious act. It was the only way to explain why such bad things - this bad day - was happening now. It was hard to breath. She should do something.

React, Maura. You do need to react.

Harriet was scared, to say the least. Had Maura lied to her? Why was Christine there trying to take her away from them now?

'Christine, you... I... We have a deal. C'mon! The girl stays until tomorrow.' The detective said decided.

'Rizzoli, you have no authority over her. I should remind you that, even though I don't think I need.'

'Couldn't you have told us before? This... This is so abrupt, I mean...' She threw her hand into the air, feeling helpless.

'I've been trying to call you for an hour.'

'An hour? Oh yeah, that'd make the difference.' She snorted.

'Detective Rizzoli, I really need to take the girl.' Her unwavering voice floated the air. It was so demanding that suddenly everything went quiet. It seemed that the universe had quieted every creature on earth. A deafening silence fell in the room.

Jane cast a glace at Maura. She was pale, distressed. Her hand pressing so hard on the sofa back was probably supporting her weight. Harriet was standing on the sofa, open-mouthed, her big blue eyes wide in fear locked with Jane's. When the little girl understood what was going to happen next, her lips curled down and she started to cry.

The most painful crying Maura had ever heard since the day she told the kid about her mother. A crying that she herself could reproduce if she weren't so numb right now. It was only when Jane headed upstairs - to get Harriet's stuff - that Maura grabbed the girl and held her tightly against her chest, with all her love, all her pain. Little arms flew around her neck as a desolated Harriet cried on the crook of her neck. 'T-tomorrow', she sobbed as Maura robbed her back. 'Tomorrow', she said again and Maura closed her eyes hoping that when she opened then again, Christine would no longer be there. But things remained the same, and the only change in scenario was Jane getting into the living room again, bringing Harriet's backpack with her pajamas and clothes in it.

Maura kneeled down and waited so Harriet could steady her feet on the floor. 'Tomorrow, Maur.' She said as she looked at the blonde, her eyes begging ther to stay.

'I am so sorry, my little girl.' And 'my' had never been used so wrongly. Because if Harriet were hers, she would definitely stay there. It was just too much. Maura was crying now as well. 'You're going to be okay, baby girl. And I'm gonna miss you so much.' She kissed Harriet's forehead again and the girl offered a new hug.

'M-Maur... tu-tur-tle.' She sobbed, the words stumbling out of her mouth.

'That's right. You're my turtle.' Maura was trembling so hard that she considered sat herself onto the floor before collapsing onto it.

'Harriet', Jane crouched down too, and now turned the kid to herself. 'It was...' She cleared her throat. 'I'm gonna miss you.' The woman put the little girl into her arms and held her tightly. Jan wouldn't let go of her, and the fact that Christine was there, witnessing this fragile moment of them, pissed her off. It wasn't suppose to be like this. They shouldn't look so broken.

The detective pulled away and showed Harriet her business card. 'That's my number, see? Good.' She put the card into Harriet's jeans pocket. 'You can call me or Maura whenever you want to. And if you lose it all you have to do is ask Christine a new one. Ok?' Jane glared at the social worker who sympathetically nodded her head in agreement.

'O-k-kay.' The child threw her arms around Jane's neck again, and Jane held her, and Maura wrapped her arms around both of them.

It had never been so hard.

It had never been so excruciating.

A day had never felt so wrong, distorted, disfigured like this one.

Suddenly everything was falling down.

Maura let go of Harriet for the last time. Jane freed her of their very last hug.

The little girl carrying her backpack on her shoulders was something Jane would never forget.

And the girl's gaze holding Maura's, those eyes still begging for tomorrow would haunt Maura forever.

Everything had started well and finished so badly. When the door slammed close, pulling them apart for the kid, Bass cruelly made his appearance there, declaring the bitter reality to both of them: there was only one turtle left there.

* * *

**A/N: Well, let me know if you survived. Part of me certainly did not.**


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I'm not mean. Really, I'm not. I do promise you a happy ending.

* * *

First she focused on the sound of the rain. Fat drops of water hit the window glass harshly and the sound of every single drop splattering onto the glass almost pierced through her heart.

Only when her eyes studied the flat surface she noticed the trails in there. The drops against the window. They reflected the city lights: red, blue, yellow. They streamed down the glass, going down below, tracing a pattern of vertical lines, somewhat curved, uncertain, going down, ever downward, getting lost somewhere beyond the brightness of light, lying in the dark, in a strange emptiness ignored by the light - just like that day.

Harriet was gone. Maura was aware that this would come to happen, of course she was, but it didn't make things any easier. To be honest, there was nothing easy in farewells. A trembling sigh passed her lips as she held tightly onto the windowsill.

The raindrops insisted on smashing themselves against the window and fall into nowhere.

The insistence.

The emptiness.

It was getting on her nerves. Why couldn't the drops remain colorful as they ran down? Dammit, why did they have to stream down anyway?

_Well, now you're making no sense, Maura_, she pointed. It is the gravity, one of the most powerful force of nature. It cannot be absorbed, transformed, or shielded agaisnt. No one can reverse it, no one can dominate it. It's uncontrollable.

She felt a tear land on the back of her hand and, taken aback, waved it off. Had she been crying? Yes, she had. But since when? It felt so weird because just like the black hole outside sucking the raindrops, there was another vacuum swallowing her: that blank within her, the lack of something - a feeling - she could name it. Or was she just avoiding it? She closed her eyes, then opening it again she turned on her heels to stare at one more void: the place she had been in, the bedroom that once had been her baby's nursery. It was just an empty room now - no furniture, no wallpaper. The white walls made no good to her already disturbed state of mind. She shook her head trying to deny the matter, trying to ask that no, please, don't do this to me again.

She looked to the window once more, hoping to see the colorful raindrops sliding on the glass, but it was in vain. Then, she tried to get a view beyond the glass, but she was only able to see a blur fading into darkness. She landed her hand against the glass, the cold instantly finding its way through her fingers, her body. It was cold like the day Jane rushed her to the hospital. She didn't recall so much, just being carried by Jane. And cold, she was cold. Even though it was summer she felt her body icy. The rest of the night went from a blur to darkness, until the next morning, where the sunlight were supposed to bring good news.

No, Maura. Don't.

But she couldn't help the memories.

'Jay?' She had murmured as she focused on her wife. She was tired, feeling weak. What had happened, after all? She was in the hospital, that she remembered. Jane held her hand and gently caressed it. No smiles. Not even a slight reaction from her other than her hands holding Maura's. Nothing.

'Maur.' She finally whispered, but once again the silence fell between them. Maura was starting to fidget as the seconds passed them by. She wanted to sit, but her body was sore. When she became restless and clumsily tried to get up, Jane put her hands on her shoulders and pressed her gently on the bed again.

'Shhh.' She warned. 'Don't, Maur. You are... You're... ok.' She said, but the ton of her voice betrayed her uncertainty.

Terrified, Maura opened her eyes as she breathed dangerously fast. 'What hap-pened?' She grabbed Jane's wrist so that the brunette wouldn't pull away. She held her gaze. She needed answers. When she caught Jane's disappointed look before listening to the words that every pregnant woman fears, her heart stopped for a moment. The next words did not sooth the pain.

'I'm so sorry, Maur.' Jane averted her gaze and stared at a spot that could be her neck, but Maura knew she was looking through her, way beyond her, in another place.

'No...' The word had escaped her lips and she heard herself saying the most painful 'no' of her life. It hurt. It hurt like she had never experienced before. It hurt her body, her mind - her heart. It was suffocating, agonizing, and the fact that she couldn't move naturally let her even more desperate. That was the reason she felt weak to the bones, the reason she had had a fever the night before. She was fine, everything was supposed to be good. She didn't see this coming, because in her last appointment the doctor had said that she was just fine, and the baby was growing healthy and strong. What went wrong, then?

'I'm so sorry, honey.' Jane repeated and rested her forehead against Maura's. It was hard to breath. A gentle kiss was planted on her lips, but she didn't reply to it because she registered the act minutes later, only when Jane pulled away to look at her. The brunette's look was the second thing that had tormented her that day. Maura analized a mixture of disappointment, dismay and pain. Some uncontained tears rolled down the brunette's face and Maura wiped them out with her thumb as she felt an invisible hand unmercifully pressing her heart. Only then Maura notice that her own face was wet - but those tears weren't hers, they were Jane's. She didn't cry, her brain was too busy trying to analize some facts and draw conclusions. Logic would be the only thing that would save her from such melancholy.

Or she thought so.

Because on that day she had been under control until the moment she got back home. Until the moment Jane had helped her getting out of the car, until the moment she had walked to her living room.

Then Jane left so she could grab the rest of the things in the car. And, with no warning, the world fell down over her. She looked around and felt like the house was trying to suffocate her. It was like the walls were trapping her, taking away her air, the light, paralyzing her as she tried and failed to escape. And, as if this was not enough, there was something pulling her downwards, making hard to walk, to lift her foot from the ground - it was that thing she already knew: gravity. It was hard to move, hard to breath, and she asked herself what she had done to deserve this. Why was the universe cruelly chastising her, even dissipating the oxygen particles, preventing them from reaching her lungs. As she stepped forward, she felt dizzy and had to close her eyes to balance herself. Oh yes, perhaps gravity wanted to bring her down like everything else, mercilessly.

Trembling, she put her hands against her belly to make sure that some air was getting in, but the gesture only reminded her of how vulnerable she was. Then it was too much. She started to cry. Her body violently shook as she tried to suppress her sobs. Jane's arms suddenly wrapped around her waist and held her tightly. It was thanks to the brunette that she didn't collapse onto the ground, but, even though Jane's hug gave her refuge, she lost complete control over her emotions. She had no hold on the sobs leaving her mouth. She had no control at all. But 'No' she protested between her crying because she refused to bend before gravity. 'No' she firmily said because Jane and her were floating two days ago and, why were they falling down now? She wouldn't allow them to get that close to the ground. No. She wouldn't let them touch it. And definitely 'No', because she couldn't be that weak, selfish person, she didn't want to lose herself in sadness when everything had a plausible explanation which she yet just had to find.

'Maura, you're human.' Jane said as though she could read her soul. 'If you need to cry, then just cry, babe.' The brunette slowly lulled her back and forth, but as she felt her arms getting weaker after holding Maura for so long, both of them ended up sitting on the couch - Jane behind Maura, holding the blond against her chest. Her wife just stayed there, curled in fetal position, crying her heart out.

And Maura did it for long hours; the hiccups were gone and she was still crying, the day had turned into night and she had been resting against Jane's chest for hours. When the outburst was over, she just stayed there, crying silently inside Jane's arms, tired enough to fall asleep there. She was exhausted and Jane too, she knew it. As Maura seemed to be ignoring the world that day, Jane was the one who took care of everything. She only move to lay Maura on the couch, then she gently kissed her forehead and covered her with a thin blanket, saying that she would prepare something for them to eat. She wasn't hungry, and refused the food three times until Jane told her, harshly, that if she did not eat she would call Constance. The blackmail worked perfectly for the next two days, and when it lost its credibility, Jane called Angela and the matriarch got Maura to eat.

The first week had been terrible. Neither of them had slept well on the first night, and on the third one Maura had ran a high fever. Jane spent the day checking on her all the time, gravitating around her. Maura did not speak - just the necessary - she had been watching documentaries, lying with her head on Jane's lap while the brunette devotedly took care of her needs. 'Some more water? Juice? Lasagna? Oh, how about a salad?' And all the attention made her feel guilty, and when her eyes filled with tears she buried her face in Jane's belly and cried. The detective said nothing, she did not want to press Maura into talking, she knew that the blonde had her own time, and she respected that.

A few days later, when Jane got home after work, she found Maura sitting on the couch, her knees up to her chest, staring at the television, gently biting her lower lip, lost in thoughts.

'Maur?' The brunette called before spotting her. Green eyes looked up, meeting with hers. Jane walked over to her and kissed her cheek. 'Hey.' She said opening half of a smile, hoping it was, somehow, comforting one.

'Hey.' She said, but didn't offer anything else.

Jane sat herself beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing the blond closer to her. She studied Maura's outfit then asked hopefully, 'Did you practice yoga today?'

Maura leaned her head up and shook it no.

Bad signal.

Jane sighed. 'Maur... Let's take a walk?' It was almost a plea. The doctor couldn't spend so much time alone, inside the house. It wasn't right nor healthy. But, as her arm squeezed the woman's waist, Maura shook her head in the negative.

'C'mon, Maura. You know you can't do that.'

'A girl.'

'What?' The detective asked feeling a little bit lost. Maybe she hadn't heard something before?

'The doctor called, Jane. And I... Asked her.' They were not sure if they wanted to know the baby's sex, so it had never been said to them. Maura looked at her wife, she hadn't been crying for two days, but her eyes still carried a kind of pain. 'It was a girl.' She murmured now, lowering her head as she thought back some months ago when Jane's voice happily told her. _A mini you running around the house, that'd make me so happy._

Jane swallowed hard e frowned. No mini Maura calling her Mama.

'Maur...' She cupped the blonde's face. 'I...' Maura shake her head in understanding, she herself had no words and once again she felt terribly bad for having lost something - someone - Jane wanted so much.

And that feeling of having disappointed her wife had lasted for a while, then it started to subdue into an old memory, but...

By the time she realized it, it was too late. She had lost her baby, and she had been recovering - she had. And then she had the great idea of bringing Harriet home because she was so well-intentioned, wanting to help the girl out some way. In the same way she wanted to be helped when she was a kid. But she had always been too independent for that, and maybe that's the reason had her parents never imagined that at some point in her life she needed them - just as she imagined Harriet needed her that day. The way Harriet had asked her not to go away as well. But in the end, people always let _her _ behind. Except for Jane. And as a curse, she had let Jane down. Once again.

She took a deep breath and looked to her feet. She had a lot in her plate now. She wanted to do something good and ended up ruining everything. She should have been smarter. She should. She knew it better now, but it was too late to avoid the pain. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to contain a new wave of tears but it seemed impossible. How was she going to fix it all this time?

Her hands pressed firmly onto the windowsill. The rain was falling down and muffled by its sound, teardrops landed silently on the floor.

'Maura.' Jane's voice came behind her back, startling her. She jumped in surprise and snapped her head at Jane before wiping out her face. She didn't want to be caught crying. Too late. Jane carefully stepped forward. 'What are you doing here?'

Maura knew what the word _here _implied. _In the nursery_. 'It's just ...' She lowered her head, unsure how to start.

Jane sighed heavily and looked away, shaking her head. 'I knew it would end up like this.' She said more to herself than to Maura. "I tried to warn you it is not easy.'

'It is not.' Maura nodded as tears started streaming down her face. She let them.

Jane walked over to the window, hands in the pockets, and looked out. Maura stood at her side, crossing her arms across her chest in protection.

'This room needs to be filled.' Jane whispered, dark eyes matching the night and rainy sky - except for the part of the rain. She was not crying.

'Jane.' Maura whispered quietly, catching Jane's attention.

Hmm?' Drak brown eyes met her hazel ones.

'I'm so sorry.' She said and looked down at the floor. It seemed that everything she was going to do that night was crying.

'What? What for?' Jane held her shoulders in order to make Maura look at her again. The blonde shook her head no.

'I'm sorry...' She said louder, firmer. '...for making you going through this again.'

'Maura, I know I said it had been hard for me once, but I can handle it, okay? I can.' She reassured the blonde, but Maura shook her head again.

'I was selfish.'

'Maura, no. Don't.' Now it hurt Jane because she knew Maura just wanted to help the little girl, and she didn't mean to cause any of this. She hugged the woman, but the blonde pulled away quickly.

I don't deserved it, she thought, not now. 'I'm sorry I disappointed you.' She replied, looking too guilty for Jane's liking. What was happening?

'Maura, what are you talking about?' Jane put her hands on her own hips and Maura felt one of those people being interrogated by her. She felt even smaller than Jane.

'I brought Harriet and she left. ... And before that, the baby.'

Jane opened her mouth in disbelief. What was Maura talking about? _I was selfish. I'm sorry I disappointed you_. So Jane put the pieces together and the puzzle made sense. Bringing Harriet home with them had reopened a wound, setting off this reaction in Maura. It was bad because it had taken so long, and was certainly suffocating Maura somehow, and it was good, because they could work on this now.

'Maura, do you think you let me down because you lost the baby?' She couldn't hide the disbelief in her voice.

Silence.

Jane shifted on her feet. 'Maura, you being you, there's no way in hell you can disappoint me.' Jane put her arms around her and Maura tried to pulled back. Jane didn't let her. 'It wasn't your fault, sweetie. I should've said this before but I didn't know you felt that way.'

Maura was fighting with her emotions, Jane knew it. So instead of waiting for a reply, she just added.

'I mean it, Maur.' She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. 'And look, I knew the girl would have to leave at some point. I could've said no to you, you know. It's true, I didn't want you to bring her in at first, but c'mon, she's adorable. I was only concerned about you.' And I have been so right.

'Jane', she started, trying to organize her thoughts even though they were running in the speed of light.

'Maura, you have never hurt me before. I promise. I know and you know that miscarriages like this happen.' She shrugged. 'There's no one to blame here.'

Maura rested her head against Jane's shoulder and sighed, trying to clear her mind.

'She could have been my mini me.' She whispered, still apologizing.

Jane kissed her head. 'Any little kid who calls you mommy is gonna make me happy, Maura. If she looks just like you, great! Otherwise, you can always dress her in pink dresses and teaches her difficult words. I mean, what's the point of freaking out over this?'

Maura's laughter echoed in Jane's throat, the guilty vanishing away as Jane pressed her lips tenderly on her temple.

'I want a child with you, Maur. And you know what?'

'Hmm?' Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and adjusted head on her chest.

'These days with Turtle were ... decisive. She's great, and you were great with her.'

'It's _Harriet_, Jane.' Maura corrected. 'And so were you.'

Jane laughed. An idea crossed her mind. 'You want a child but you don't want to get pregnant now.' She said thoughtfully.

'Uh-huh.'

'What if ... What if we adopt, Maur?'

The blonde took a deep breath. The days with Harriet had been great - to say the least. Maura bit her lip, adoption was definitely an option. Before answering the woman, a memory crossed her mind.

She was sitting on the couch and Jane had just arrived home with two brown paper bags. 'Hey babe.' She said as Maura rose to follow her into the kitchen, missing the brunette after staying all day at home alone. And then, on her last step to reach the kitchen counter, the bottom of one bag torn apart, thus dropping all the goodies on the ground. Jane cursed, Maura repressed the bad word. Jane quickly put the other brown bag on the counter and when she knelt down to grab the contents on the floor, the second bag turned to the side and fell as well, knocking down half the purchase over her. She was about to swear again, but then she heard Maura's loud laughter, and celebrating the sound she hadn't heard in so long, she herself laughed at the situation.

Yes, gravity had always been bringing things down. Maura crouched beside Jane and helped her recover the contents. When they finished, Jane stood up and stretched her hand out to the blonde, Maura took it gratefully and stood up.

They smiled to each other.

Gravity had always worked in its own way, bringing the density of bodies to itself. Nothing could escaped it. Nothing but love, something so abstract, unreachable and unknown to her, coming from another dimension.

As long Maura had Jane on her side, they could rise together. They could do and build anything together.

Yes, they _could_ do that.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I swear to God Ill finish this story. I will. lol**

**About this chapter... I'll just let it here and wait for your review :)**

* * *

Jane took a deep breath, rolled to a side only to realize she was alone in bed. Thinking in retrospect, the flashes from the day before pained her. Yesterday had been tough; not the best day of her life. Without second thought, she hadn't had a bad day like that in a while. Her hand rubbed cold sheets - the place where Maura was supposed to be as she got lost in thoughts, once again.

The previous night wasn't a good one either. Maura had been tossing and turning on bed all night long, and Jane herself spent a great amount of hours staring at the ceiling, trying in vain to clear her mind and get some sleep, and she was only able to get some when exhaustion caught up with her in the first hours of dawn. And now again, there she was: lying in bed once more, eyes wide open, reflecting pain, helplessness.

Sighing, she rolled to her side and checked the bedside clock. Five twenty-seven. Squinting her eyes at the red numbers, she murmured an unintelligible protest to the early hour of the day. She couldn't believe that she had barely three hours of sleep. Reluctantly, she stepped out of bed. She had to find Maura and check in on her. At the same time her feet found the floor, she heard a cell phone vibrating. It wasn't hers. She was sure she had set her own cell to use the silent mode. She rounded the bed and answered the call immediately, not caring about limits.

'Jane.' Her hoarse voice broke the silence in the room.

'Ah...' The voice in the other end sounded a little bit confused, but not surprised. 'It's Susie here, Detective.'

'What's up, Chang? Still working?' Jane asked as she rubbed her eye with a hand, tired enough to care for her not-so-interested tone in her voice.

'Yes.' And a pause. 'Is Dr. Isles feeling better?' She asked tentatively; Maura and her were colleagues, and it was only natural that she felt sympathy for the blonde, but she also didn't want to cross any lines.

'Well...' Jane licked her lips as she thought. What could she say? 'She's not... as nervous as before.' She simply her answer for not really knowing how to translate their state of mind into words.

'Oh, good. I just called to let her know that we were finally able to run correctly all the tests and I also have the results with me. I think she'd like to know that. As soon as possible, as she said.'

Jane smiled at her words. She knew that Susie was a good person - a little weird, but good anyway. 'Thanks, Chang. That's good news, it'll make her day.'

'I'm sorry I woke you up.'

'You didn't.' Jane shrugged, even though Susie couldn't see her.

'Great. See you.'

'See you.' Jane ended the called and threw the device on the bed. She needed to find Maura, at least she had one good news for her. And Jane was decided to have an easy day today. They would stay at home, watch a silly movie and cuddle. No crying, no overthinking. Just Maura and her, relaxing a bit just for a chance. And God only knew how much she needed a day like that after all that chaos. That first news would start all that lightness she was planing for that day. They deserved it.

She walked silently towards the living room. The TV was on, the volume down. The screen exhibit a blue ocean, and then... seaweed? A documentary on seaweed? She wanted to say _Really, Maura?,_ but she settled on just rolling her eyes and repressing a snort.

Not wanting to scare the blonde, Jane walked around the sofa and made herself known before sitting down or touch her.

'Hey.' She tried a smile and stroke Maura's thigh gently. The blonde shifted under the blanket she had over her and also tried a smile.

'Hi.' She murmured.

'What you doing here, Maur? It's so early.' Jane sat by her side, caressing her waist.

Maura shrugged as she looked to the TV again. 'I couldn't sleep. I thought I could use the time to learn something, instead.'

'And... you chose a documentary on seaweed? Really, Maura?' She made a face, trying not to look judgmental, but failing anyway.

'It's quite interesting, Jane!' Maura protested. 'Did you know that seaweed can reproduce in a variety of ways? The lower types reproduce asexually, whereas more advanced -'

'No.' Jane cut the blonde, shaking her head. 'Too soon for swimming leaves class.'

'They are not swimming leaves, Jane.' Maura reprehended.

'Whatever you said.' She murmured and then leaned to plant a kiss on Maura's lips. 'Susie's just called.'

Maura arched her eyebrows, a little bit more interested now. 'Oh.'

'She says she finally has the tests results.'

'Oh, good.' Maura shook her head in approval.

'She didn't explain to me, though. Maybe because she would have to repeat all over again to you, later.' She forced a smiled and arched her eyebrows, as if saying _doesn't it make sense?_

Maura giggled and stroked Jane's arm. 'I'll call her back later.'

And under Jane's perspective, Maura looked more... relived. Maybe. The brunette lifted the blanket, shifted herself over Maura's body, her elbows supporting her weight.

'Tip'. She said.

'What?' Maura asked, confused.

'Tip'. She said again, and the explained. 'I just delivered an information. It was a great service. Now I want my tip.' She smiled playfully, and then pouted waiting for Maura's lips against hers.

The doctor giggled and shook her head in the negative. 'I'm sorry, but I didn't ask for your service. No tips for you.' She teased.

'Oh, Maura! Don't be stingy!'

'Jane Clementine Rizzoli-Isles. Don't you dare call me stingy. Otherwise I'll must charge you for that vase you broke and hid among another ones.'

Oops.

'Me? I did not do such thing!' She lied, not feeling guilty at all. Well, maybe a little bit. She held Maura's arms above her head, trapping her. 'I might have to arrest you.'

'Oh... Wasn't that you, then?'

'Of course it wasn't. That was Jo!' Jane exclaimed. 'Jo, come here.' She called for the dog and waited until the she had her paws on the sofa, looking ecstatic from one woman to another.

'How many times do I have to tell you, Jo? Don't get close to Maura's vases!'

The dog sat on the floor and lowered her head, sorry for something she had not done. 'Bad dog', Jane continued, 'bad, bad dog.' Jo grunted, as if apologizing. 'You see how guilty she looks right now, Maura? It was her.'

'You are incorrigible, Jane.' Maura laughed.

'Tip?' Jane smiled again, proud of herself this time for making Maura laugh.

'You know I'd give anything to have you here with me.' The blonde said as she wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, bringing her slowly closer. The brunette leaned in and stole a kiss.

'Except you don't have to.' She whispered and kissed her lips lingeringly. As she pulled away, she caressed Maura's cheek with her thumb. The blonde kept her eyes closed, then Jane ran her finger over a perfectly shaped eyebrow. 'We are staying home today.' She murmured.

'Jane, there's no reason to - '

'Maura. Look at me. Look at you. We need a break.' She said seriously.

'Honestly, Jane... I rather be at work, I have -'

'Honey, you threw up yesterday. I think you are stressed out and... Maura, it's been a while, you know? All this crap that happen yesterday? I want to put it behind us. I just want to stay home today and relax. I want to take care of you. I do not want you to... hide all of this behind work. And God knows how you are inclined to do that!'

'Jane, we are working on two cases now.'

It was true, but Jane wasn't trying to escape from work. She wouldn't feel in peace until she closed the cases. But truth be told, she cared more about Maura right now. She didn't want her going into work, get herself all worked up again to come back home at the end of the day exhausted, both emotionally and psychically. Not after yesterday's event. Not after Harriet's departure. God, Maura seemed to be drained, she was pale. Jane wondered if she, herself, looked the same way. She didn't even check her reflection at the mirror today. Maura was stubborn, and that would be a lost battle if Jane didn't have a card up her sleeve.

'One. I mean... I'm pretty sure these results Susie has in hands are gonna give us a name.'

'Jane...' She looked uncertain now.

'C'mon, Maura. What do you have to say about a tired brain?'

'The brain needs sleep to stabilize chemical imbalances, to refresh areas of the brain that control mood and behavior, and to process the memories and knowledge that it is gathered throughout the day.' She said automatically.

'Bottom line?' Jane asked.

'When the brain is too tired, it does not process information efficiently because of the lack of oxygen.' Maura replied.

'Has you brain been well oxygenated with, what?, two hours of sleep?' Jane provoked.

Maura rolled her eyes. 'No, I don't think so.'

'Well, then we have a deal.' Jane said, hold her chin gently and kissed her soft lips as if the gesture was meant to clinch the deal. Maura didn't disagree, but she didn't look happy either. When Jane pulled away, she studied the blonde's face: eyes still close, eyebrows frowned as if in pain. 'Maur?' Jane called carefully, feeling that something was wrong.

'This day wasn't supposed to start like this.' She whispered, and when she opened her eyes again, Jane saw tears threatening their way down the blonde's face.

'I know.' She whispered, her voice broke a little. 'I know, babe. But we can make it better, right?'

'Mhm.' She murmured, her hands coming to rest on Jane's shoulders, the light gesture bringing the brunette closer.

'I'm here with you. I'm here.' She planted light kisses over the doctor's face, once, twice, three times.

Maura opened her mouth, but no words come out, only a shaken breath.

'It's gonna be fine. We are going to be fine, too, Maura.' Jane reassured her and held her tightly. 'And you know what? You're gonna be an excellent mom.'

Soft lips kissed her forehead and then her lips. Maura tightened her grip on Jane's waist and kissed her back with the same passion, same tenderness. And translating the gesture into words, Jane knew exactly what they meant: make me feel better, take care of me. I need you. Love me. Jane was planning on that, anyway. She would do anything to relieve her pain. Silly little things to make Maura laugh. Damn, she would take the doctor to a boring shopping mall and spend the whole day there, if only to see her wife's eyes shining in amusement by the end of the day.

With a second kiss - in slow motion, as if Jane was willing to deliver all the love and reassurance - her hand cupping Maura's cheek as her thumb caressed her soft, warm skin, all the tension seemed to abandon the doctor's body as she was finally giving herself away; all her pain, fears and insecurities, all her broken feelings, it was all in Jane's hands now. Her detective could fix her, put her little pieces together.

All of Jane's actions said so much about her; Maura had been finding herself melting away in every touch of Jane's fingertips, every time her lips brushed her skin. The way the detective looked at her. Every. Single. Moment.

Adoration.

It had always started like that. The way Jane's lips pressed gently against her skin. On her neck, never too slow, ever so delicately. She knew that Jane was adoring every inch of her skin, kissing every freckle painted there, specially the ones shaped in patterns alluding to real world figures. Yes. She learned their location as Jane pressed her lips on her chest. Today she had started with 'the Italy boot', as Jane named them. Below them, and to the right, three freckles defined 'the Orion's belt'. Jane planted three kisses over there. Following the center line of her neck a range of four freckles drew a dog paw, and this was the spot Jane was kissing now. Next, her lips found were sliding down between her breast - there laid three little dots, and when Jane told her that those were 'Mickey's head', Maura laugh and _had _to check that new discovery in the mirror (and admit that it was quite equal). Then, a group of flowers next to her right shoulder shaped a flower. When Jane found that one, she insisted on counting the petals, and it was pretty delighted when 'she loves me' was the final count. This memory always make Maura smiled, just like the way she was doing right now. At the last, the sweetest one: a little heart painted on the right side of her chest. And Jane, enthralled for her new find, pointed to it and asked Maura if that heart was hers as well. Maura said yes, and Jane proposed her on the next moment, saying that she only had one heart, but it belonged completely to Maura. And that she, Jane, could love the doctor more than herself. The memory now was so vivid, considering the similarity of the situation; an intimate moment in which Jane devotetly adored her.

Desire.

It was undeniable, since the very beginning, and sometimes almost uncontrollable. Now Jane's lips crossed a path of kisses along her neck, and it didn't mean that they would have sex - sometimes it was just part of their 'making out', as Jane used to call it - Maura leaned her head to a side, allowing Jane to reach her skin, and even though this wasn't new, the pleasure running through her veins felt as if it was the very first time Jane had touched her. When the brunette looked at her - asking for permission to go ahead - Maura nodded her head; a second later Jane's fingers brushed new exposed skin and as her lips sucked gently her rounded breast, Maura closed her eyes and held back a moan.

'Jane!' She exclaimed as Jane's hand squeezed her other breast. 'PMS.' She added, and all the next gestures were gentle, firm and resolute, yes, but always kind. Everything was different with Jane; unlike every other person, the hands that now traveled her body was not looking for their own pleasure. They were there to get to know every curve, memorize them, to offer, to please her. And the same with Maura: she had mapped Jane's body in her mind, every curve, every depression, every sensitive point. It looked so right, familiar, comfortable. Her hands held Jane close to her, as if recognizing that warm body over hers as a shelter, protection. There, no one could ever hurt her. There, no hard feelings would break her heart. There. With Jane. And, in order to not loose her security, when Jane pulled her lips away from Maura's breast, the doctor held her neck gently and pulled her upwards. She delivered a passionate kiss that, she hoped, would show everything she couldn't say now. Some feelings - the most intense ones - were so hard to describe, even with her wide vocabulary. Maura wasn't a poet, and maybe if she were, she could put the words in poetry and only then she'd be able to translate all the feelings, for now, she decided that balancing words and gestures would make their relationship steady.

Possession.

Jane's hands sliding down her hips and pulling her closer. 'Oh!' She exclaimed between their kiss, feeling Jane's thigh pressed firmly against her core. For a split second, Maura almost lost herself. As her fingers tangled Jane's hair, her other hand pressed the small of her back, keeping the brunette's body there, taking advantage of that new position. They had hit the point, that one that one step forward would mean crossing the line from _making out _to _having sex._ It would take only a look, a nod of the head.

Maura had no idea how long they had been doing that. Her mind worked so differently when Jane's hands ran along her body. Everything was slow, loving, caring. How could she focus on anything else when she felt Jane's demanding fingers crossing her skin? How could she take control of her body? It was ridiculous the way she lost herself in Jane. The only thing she knew that they were stepping on that line; they could stop it now or go ahead. Her hipsters were wet, and Jane could feel it against her thigh because 'Oh, God, Maura' she murmured as she rocked her body in slow motion, pressing herself against the blonde, holding her waist tightly, claiming Maura in that way that made her weak at the knees.

'Bed?' Jane asked, and if she answered yes it'd certainly lead to sex.

Maura wasn't sure. She was comfortable there. 'Make out?' She said, even though she knew what would happen next.

Jane nodded her head and kissed her once more, and Maura ran his fingers down her back, pressing and feeling every bone there. The column, each curve up to her neck; then her her slid to the side, reaching Jane's rib cage. Her hands would now move with their own accord, and when trained fingers slid under the brunette's shorts waistband, pressing soft, warm flesh, Jane sighed.

It was all what it took to motivate her keep going. The doctor held Jane's hip and pulled her close, not willing to stay an inch apart from her. Maura nedeed her. Her touches, her warm hands. Her lips on her skin. Jane took the lead and held firmly Maura's neck and pressed her body against hers. Both of them were breathing heavy now, trying to resist - but what for, anyway? - what we were about to do. And that resistance did not last more than one second.

Claim.

Because among all the things that were certain and clear to Maura, this was one of them: she belonged with Jane, and Jane belonged with her. And this was exactly what the brunette was doing now - claiming her. Her hands traveling Maura's body, that curves Jane would never anyone else touch them. God, she was jealous. Selfish. At work, Maura was her partner. At home, her wife. Hers, only. She couldn't live in a scenario where Maura didn't belong with her. Her laughter, her peculiarities, her sweet smile, her kindness. Every inch of her. Her low voice asking her to please, don't stop. Her shaking body. It was all Jane's. Maura couldn't agree more - and now that her detective was claiming for her, she could not help but give in. _No_. She could do something else. Maura smiled through their kiss and slid her hand on Jane's belly, her fingers easily getting into her panties, and Jane's moan vibrated through her mouth.

Jane pulled away quickly, stunned by her action and giggling mischievously, but only after a beat of her heart she felt Maura's fingers sliding inside her. Her moan had never seemed so guttural as her head fell forward in an act of redemption and pleasure.

'Maura' She exclaimed as her body tensed, and the blonde kissed her lips to silence her. She also knew how to claim. And Jane did not need that much. Only a few thrusts, just a few hoarse groans. Maura knew she was close as she rested her chin on her shoulder, her body tensed and relaxed, and she knew that Jane wanted to last a little longer, and Maura made her last because today was about kindness and caring, and she wanted reciprocate all that Jane offered to her.

Jane cupped Maura's breast, and the blonde's moan was the last thing she needed to come. Her body shook, and Maura fingers were still thrusting in and out of your body - now with more difficulty - and she gave herself away, because Maura was holding her. Maura, the only one capable of doing that to her body. To her soul. The one that, literally, took her breath away. 'Maura.' She said when the main shock had passed. Her arms couldn't support her body for much longer, but there was still Maura, and the blonde brushed her sex against Jane's thigh, demanding her own pleasure.

'Jane?' She asked, and did not need anything else. And because they were there for so long, or because she had already reached her limit, Jane's fingers touching soft skin were enough to make her lose control. Her body tensed, her back arched as that powerful energy hit her body with full force, taking away her air, causing all the other senses to fade. And 'Jane' was the only thing she could say, in a low whisper, the kind that you do when you see something extremely beautiful, and though her eyes were closed now, she could feel Jane, which was even more beautiful, more touching, more charming.

Her breathing was erratic, her lungs yet needed to work back to normal. She held Jane, lying on top of her as breathless as she was, and kissed the top of her head. She felt the brunette's body sway, as if she were... laughing.

'Maura.' Her voice sounded low, she was still panting. 'You said _make out._' She pulled away to stare at her, and when Maura locked her eyes with Jane's, she saw what lied inside.

Love.

It had always ended in love.

'Im not complaining,' she continued, 'it´s more like _I love you_.' She laughed and shifted herself over Maura, her hands caressing blonde hair.

Maura smiled and leaned her head backwards so Jane could have free access of her neck. Her breathing was heavy, and it was kinda hard to breath both because of if and Jane's weight over her. While Jane gazed at her sweet face, pinky cheeks receiving a kiss each, Maura slid her finger - still wet - on her back. The cold sensation left behind in her skin gave her goosebumps... and just then did Jane realize that her wife was writing words.

My.

Jane.

My.

She giggled quietly and planted a soft kiss on her lips. 'You're my love, I'm yours.' Another kiss in her lips. 'My Maura.' And another one. 'My sweet Maura.' Kiss on her chin. 'Mine, mine, mine.' She said and between words a new kiss was delivered in a new place.

Once again, Maura wrote a word.

Love.

Jane nodded her head in agreement as she smiled. God, Maura's eyes. They hold so much life, love, passion. This new thing of writing on her skin made Jane want to love her time and time again. She would never understand the power of her love. She would never be able to properly put words in her heart and translate it.

'Do you know, Maura? How much I love you?' She asked and the blonde smiled.

_Air._ She wrote again on her back. It was something they used to say to each other: you are the air I breath, I can live without you. Cheesy, tacky, but it was their thing, it make her laugh.

Jane shook her head. 'No.'

Maura tried again, her curiosity picked.

_Soul. _She wrote anew.

'No.' Jane said, amused.

Maura frowned and wrote again.

_?_

'You know the stars? The big ones?'

The doctor shook her head in the positive.

'Do you remember that you told me that they shine? Even if they're dead?'

Another shake of head in the positive, her eyes more open.

A pause. Jane hoped that Maura would understand her comparison. 'They shine for ever, right? 'Cause space is infinite, so they just keep shining, light running in every direction. And we can see that light from here, can't we? That light burning forever, an infinite continued expansion, every direction, at all times. Endless shining, ever and ever.'

She looked at Maura and offered lowly. 'My love for you is the shining of the big stars.' And she stroked Maura's cheek with her thumb.

'Oh, Jane.' The blonde whispered.

'Oh, Maura, c'mon! Don't cry.' She wiped the tears out of Maura's face. 'No crying, babe.'

'Can I, Jane?' Maura murmured.

'What's that, babe?'

'Can I shine with you?'

Love.


End file.
